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This is http://www.essayz.com/a9611141.htm Previous-Essay <== This-Essay ==> Following-Essay Click HERE on this line to find essays via Your-Key-Words. {Most frequent wordstarts of each essay will be put here.} ========================================================== %SIMPLE JUST SAY NO FORMULATED QUESTION DICHOTOMY 961114 Many people admonish others to "just say no". Most thinking people find the admonition to "just say no" not very helpful. Why? For the following, and perhaps for other, reasons: 1. "Just say no" presumes that there is a question which is well formulated and to which there are only two reasonable responses: "No" or "Yes". There are few if any, such questions. Usually there are more than two reasonable alternatives in each situation. The essence of our dilemma is that very few situations in life can be reduced to a choice between just two alternatives. 2. A question which is well formulated for one person and situation is rarely well formulated for another person and their situation. Personal differences make a difference in how a question should be formulated to fit personal circumstances. It is dishonest to ignore such differences. 3. The admonition "Just say no" is formulated in negativistic terms. It is not an affirmation. Admonitions which are formulated in negative terms are often misleading. Negativistic admonitions often entail misleading assumptions, attitudes, logic, appearances, presentations, responses, etc. 4. If a question to which we say "no" is formulated in a misleading way, our saying "no" to the question is most likely not to be a wise response to the situation which is handled by just saying no. Most human relationships are not wisely dealt with by just saying no. It is wiser to give qualified affirmations to some alternatives---than to give unqualified denials to selected and over-simplified alternatives. 5. "Just say no" misleads many people into negativistic patterns of always saying no as the safest thing to do. Such negativity is disintegrative of peoples and communities. 6. "Just say no" is often associated with legalistic judgementalism and condemnations which are alienative---and so are disintegrative of people and their communities. 7. "Just say no" suggests that there is no careful thinking required in dealing with the difficult situations in life. It suggests that life can be simple if you just follow a few simple rules in all situations. The tragic consequences which are encountered by people who try to live by the rule "Just say no" suggest that such a simplistic rule is inadequate in real life situations. (c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in (On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy) ==========================================================