blog traffic analysis
This is http://www.essayz.com/a9509061.htm Previous-Essay <== This-Essay ==> Following-Essay Click HERE on this line to find essays via Your-Key-Words. {Most frequent wordstarts of each essay will be put here.} ========================================================== %DEVELOPMENT GROWTH INTIMATE CONTEXT RELATION SELF 950906 As intimate contexts and relationships grow, there are many dilemmas which pertain to power and possible abuses of power---due to dominant/disintegrative paradigms, attitudes, assumptions, beliefs, ideas, ideals, values, etc. What is appropriate, helpful, integrative and loving depends upon the objective and reflexive context, the situation, the history of a relationship. People who are oriented in unbalanced ways towards either objectivity or reflexivity are unlikely to recognize what is appropriate within their contexts---and so be unable to exercise what powers they have in wise and loving ways. They are likely to be clumsy and bungle their opportunities to contribute to the growth of healthy relationships. They are likely to be awkward, inept, gauche, heavy-handed, maladroit bumbling, unskillful. It is not appropriate for the most powerful person in a developing intimate relationship to dominate the development of intimacy---for such dominance is bound to be disintegrative through the abuse of power. The dominant person is bound to intimidate the less powerful person, making the less powerful person vulnerable and taking advantage of vulnerability. In such an unbalanced context neither person can be secure---because both persons must be constantly on the defensive to deal with all the negative reactions which are bound to occur. The participants are bound up in a love/hate relationship; a context where they are cannot tell the difference between hate and love---and so they do not openly and honestly tell each other what their experiences are. It is not appropriate for the less powerful person in a developing intimate relationship to always take the lead in the development of intimacy---for such leadership is bound to be disintegrative. If the less powerful person always takes the lead in the development of intimacy, their leadership is bound to be dominated by their perceptions of the desires of the more powerful person--- in the manner of a codependent supporter of an addictive lover. A developing intimate relationship cannot be healthy in the long term if on the average there is an imbalance of power---due to the relative powers of the participants and due to the context within which their relationship develops. A developing intimate relationship cannot be healthy in the long term if the participants are unbalanced in regards to their ability to participate meaningfully and skillfully in objective and reflexive relationships. If they specialize in one kind of relationship, to the exclusion of other kinds of relationships, they are bound to be unable to deal wisely with the contexts within which they find themselves. When different contexts are dealt with as if they were not different because the differences are not recognized, named, described and talked about--- tragic mistakes are bound to be made, and the participants will be victims of double binds which they will not recognize or know how to deal with. They are bound to be trapped in patterns of unresolved conflicts and violent expressions of their frustrating conflicts. (c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in (On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy) ==========================================================