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This is Previous-Essay <== This-Essay ==> Following-Essay Click HERE on this line to find essays via Your-Key-Words. {Most frequent wordstarts of each essay will be put here.} ========================================================== %SEX DILEMMA EVIL SUSPECT GUILT SHAME CONTROL ALIEN 930422 People who feel, believe, suspect, think, say, or affirm that sexual feelings, desires, thoughts, and behaviors are inherently suspect, dangerous, evil, risky, etc. have a dilemma; especially if the implication seems to be that what is needed/required is some form of control in compensation. The stage is then set for a tragic drama in which the ostensible "forces of good" will battle with the ostensible "forces of evil" in ways which will heighten misunderstanding, confusion, alienation, violence, resentment, humiliation, abuse, rape, and both personal and communal disintegration. Any time ostensibly self righteous people set themselves up to try to control ostensibly evil people, the stage is set for a tragic drama. This is true no matter how sincere, well-intended, respectable, apparently rational, intelligent, religious, well-educated, or powerful the people may be. Dichotomous battles between self righteous ostensibly good people and the ostensibly evil people whom they have identified as such, are battles which do not lead to personal and communal integration. The evil relationships generated by such a set-up are particularly great when that which the ostensibly good people attempt to control is something as basic and essential to human nature as our God-given sexual natures. When the stage of real life has been set for a tragic drama what is needed is some real resolutions of conflicts between and among disintegrative ideals and values; not superior techniques, dedication, commitment, passion, devotion, or fire-power. The conflicts may originate in confusion, ignorance, misunderstanding, dysfunctional families of origin and many other realities. Well fought battles will not resolve the conflicts. Only truly integrative efforts charitably lead by integrative people are likely to truly resolve the conflicts and lead participants away from a tragic drama with all its evil consequences. The battles of real-life tragic-dramas may be overt, clear and obvious---if they involve conflicts between and among differing people using physical weapons of violence, the tools of a litigious community engaged in legal battles, or overt acts of excommunication, disfellowship, banishment, etc. On the other hand the battles of real- life tragic-dramas may be covert, obscure and anything but obvious---if they rage within individual victims of the tragedies and have to do with internal conflicts among attitudes, childhood scripts, tape-recordings of conflicts in dysfunctional families of origin, emotional wounds, thoughtless childish convictions, instincts, real human needs, and internalized programs of control. Such internal conflicts are not easily resolved by the confused victims of them; and the conflicts may not be evident to other people totally unaware that the conflicts rage internally. Yet, such internal conflicts can lead to overt violence, destruction, and both personal and communal disintegration. People who seek to promote both personal and communal integrity need to be alert to the possibility that such tragic internal conflicts are raging unrecognized within many members of the community. (c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in (On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy) ==========================================================