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This is http://www.essayz.com/a9302071.htm Previous-Essay <== This-Essay ==> Following-Essay Click HERE on this line to find essays via Your-Key-Words. {Most frequent wordstarts of each essay will be put here.} ========================================================== %COMFORTABLE DEGREE ACCEPT AFFIRM CONVERSE TRUTH 930207 We accept different truths with different degrees of comfort. Many truths are so embarrassing to us that we cannot accept them, cannot think about them, cannot acknowledge them, cannot talk about them; so do not even know of them. In extreme cases some truths are so embarrassing to us that we cannot tolerate any statements or actions which even hint at the possibility of the truths being accurate descriptions of reality. People who participate in such statements and/or actions are quickly rejected, excommunicated or otherwise eliminated from polite society. The truths are too embarrassing to be tolerated in any way whatsoever. Such truths are the repressed focus of the concerns of many collusions, addictions and codependencies. In less extreme cases we may be able to tolerate hints at the veracity of uncomfortable truths by virtue of putting up the defense line within ourselves; rather than at the point of tolerance for honest behavior on the part of other people. In such cases we are unlikely to be tolerant of people who are explicitly honest about the truths; are brutally honest and impolite. We then have a hard time telling the differences which exist between charitable honesty, and violence; and we are likely to treat charitable honesty as if it were violence. Honesty then is sacrificed in the name of kindness. In even less extreme cases the lines of defense against full honesty are drawn with regards to how many people may be present when truths are openly acknowledged. Some truths may be acknowledged in private gatherings within the context of reasonably close friends; but not in public gatherings where spies might report the improprieties of honest people who violate the local cultural taboos and collusions. The forms of rejection and punishment which are used to inhibit honesty are just less extreme. Rejection and punishment may not be formal, systematized or legislated; but they can be just as real --- in hidden ways. There are occasions where the defense against honesty is drawn at the level of not responding to statements and behaviors which point to the embarrassing truths. The silent treatment is quite effective where more violent treatments are not tolerated. The conspiracy of silence can be effectively used to repress truths which are too embarrassing to be dealt with in polite and proper social settings. Our emotional embarrassment in response to any statement or behavior which indirectly points to such a truth is enough to discourage the faint of heart from pointing to such truths either intentionally or unintentionally. To recover from all our defensive patterns in the face of truths which embarrass us, we need to recognize that the dishonest patterns exist, and acknowledge the wide range of ways in which honesty is violated in the name of decency, politeness, kindness, propriety and not being violent. Such deceit lacks integrity and leads to both personal and communal disintegration. To survive to be effective witnesses to the truth--- people who see, hear, smell, taste, touch and feel the truth need to be dedicated to the truth in charitable ways which are clearly: non-violent, non-manipulative, non- coercive, and non-addictive; and which clearly promote: justice, mercy, humility, fairness, balance, equal opportunity, and mutual respect. People who are so clearly dedicated in their whole being become respected in ways which enable them to point to embarrassing truths with power, and to help other people deal with embarrassing truths in liberating ways. Pointing to the truth need not be intentionally offensive, and it is more likely to be liberating if it is not intentionally offensive; for intentionally offensive behaviors elicit defensive responses, and so engender insecurity and violence. (c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in (On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy) ==========================================================