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This is Previous-Essay <== This-Essay ==> Following-Essay Click HERE on this line to find essays via Your-Key-Words. {Most frequent wordstarts of each essay will be put here.} ========================================================== %JACK JILL KNOW EACH OTHER TEMPT CHANGE IMAGE GROW 930104 Jack and Jill are getting to know each other. They are tempted to try to change each other to make each other conform to their own pre-conceived images of how each other would be as an ideal person to be with. Jack and Jill have found that they cannot succeed in their programs of reformation of each other, and are frustrated by their failures; and blame each other for their own failures in attempting the impossible. As Jack and Jill's relationship develops they do each change, but not in the ways which each planned and intended. Their relationship is the context within which they change; but not under each other's control, and they each find this fact hard to accept. How they change in part depends upon how they each accept the possibilities of change within the context of their relationship. As they get to know each other Jack and Jill may change in many ways so as to: 1. Come to appreciate each other more deeply. 2. Understand each other more fully. 3. Desire more to be together and work together. 4. Let each other be true to themselves. 5. Be more honest with each other about themselves. As they spend time with each other Jack and Jill may, on the other hand, change so as to: 1. Realize that they cannot get along with each other. 2. Misunderstand each other more and more. 3. Lose their desires to be together. 4. Want more and more to control each other. 5. Be less and less open with and to each other. If Jack and Jill in their relationship try to avoid change which they cannot control, the latter of the above two sets of five changes are most likely to occur. If Jack and Jill in their relationship seek to grow together in enjoyment of each other as they change, the former of the above two sets of five changes are most likely to occur. (c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in (On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy) ==========================================================