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This is Previous-Essay <== This-Essay ==> Following-Essay Click HERE on this line to find essays via Your-Key-Words. {Most frequent wordstarts of each essay will be put here.} ========================================================== %GUILT SHAME ROB PLEASURE RIGHT QUALIFY CONDITION 930104 Often we are robbed of our right to enjoy pleasures by the ways we have been programmed by our families of origin so that we feel very deeply that unless we have met certain conditions of freedom from defect, flaw, shame, guilt, etc.---then we have no right to enjoy pleasures. If we believe so deeply that we have no right to enjoy pleasures without meeting such conditions, then it may be essentially impossible for us to enjoy basic human pleasures---an so we tend to become frustrated, resentful and perhaps angry at those who so conditioned us. Yet it is very difficult to become resentful and angry at our parents. Even when there are very good reasons for such resentment and anger, many people find it impossible to be angry and resentful; and they will instead pretend that there are no good reasons for resentment and anger. They prefer to believe and act as if their parents were free from defect, flaw, shame, guilt, etc. Such people will often participate in games of mutual self deception about the perfection of their parents, and so be unwilling and unable to deal openly and honestly with the very real limitations of their own parents, their own family of origin, and their own resultant limitations. As a result they pass on those limitations to their own children. (c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in (On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy) ==========================================================