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This is http://www.essayz.com/a9211131.htm Previous-Essay <== This-Essay ==> Following-Essay Click HERE on this line to find essays via Your-Key-Words. {Most frequent wordstarts of each essay will be put here.} ========================================================== %DEFENSE AVOID FULLY VULNERABLE RELATIONS TRUE SEX 921113 Defensive people avoid fully vulnerable true relationships; for within such relationships they feel that they cannot be really secure. Their sense of real security is invulnerability. To feel secure they feel that they must be invulnerable. They avoid true personal relationships which entail vulnerability, and choose instead to participate in false personal relationships of mutual manipulation and deception; i.e., collusive games of mutual self deception. To develop the habit of being open and honest in personal relationships is to make yourself vulnerable to the manipulations of people who seek to control their relationships with other people. We cannot be open and honest without making ourselves vulnerable. If we are defensive, we are not free to be open and honest in personal relationships. If we want other people to be open and honest with us; we must avoid acting in ways which will lead them to feel defensive toward us. True sexual relationships entail mutual vulnerability. False sexual relationships entail mutual manipulations, deceptions, and attempts to be in control of relationships and participants in relationships. True sexual relationships entail open and honest dialogue. False sexual relationships do not entail open and honest dialogue; they are false --- to avoid the vulnerability which characterizes openness and honesty. Legalists, moralists, and compulsive formulators of systems of ethical codes --- do not promote true sexual relationships through their formulations of legal, moral and ethical systems in terms of which to pass judgment upon people's behavior patterns. The knowledge of the difference between good and evil which such people presume to know through their eating of the forbidden fruit, is alienative knowledge. Such knowledge does not truly bring the benefits which the alienative serpent promises. It does not tell us how to fabricate the keys to the kingdom of heaven. Rather, such knowledge leads us into alienative attitudes and alienative patterns of thought, feeling, and behavior. The early people who often told the story of the temptation in the Garden of Eden knew some truths about authentic living which many technocrats, legalists, moralists and ethicists do not know; and do not want to know. (c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in (On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy) ==========================================================