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This is http://www.essayz.com/a9209151.htm Previous-Essay <== This-Essay ==> Following-Essay Click HERE on this line to find essays via Your-Key-Words. {Most frequent wordstarts of each essay will be put here.} ========================================================== %JACK JILL DOUBLE BIND REFLEXIVE STUCK ESCAPE 920915 Jack and Jill are stuck in a REFLEXIVE DOUBLE BIND in which each feels/believes that the other should/must/can do what needs to be done FIRST, in order for them to get out. According to the way each perceives their joint situation each should/must/can appropriately wait for the other to act first. The other is to blame for not acting first. If only the other were to to what they should/must/can do first, they would both be out of their reflexive double bind. Jack and Jill may feel/believe that they cannot trust the other, until the other has FIRST done what the other should/must/can do to prove that they are worthy of trust. Perhaps Jack and Jill each feel that they cannot tell the other what it is that the other should/must/can do FIRST; because the other should/must/can figure out on their own just what it is that they should/must/can do FIRST---figuring out what they should/must/can do FIRST is the FIRST thing they the other should/must/can do---to resolve the reflexive double bind. Each may believe/feel that it is obvious that the other should meet this condition before self makes the appropriate next move; and failure of the other to do so first is a sign that the other is unwilling or unable to do their part. Jack and Jill's feelings in these matters may be identical or just very similar---and they still be in a reflexive double bind. The conflict which entraps them may originate in an agreement that the other person is like self; i.e., Jack sees Jill behaving much like Jill sees Jack behaving---or not behaving. Yet they may not be communicating, and not know openly and honestly how each sees the other behaving---or not behaving. Each expects the other to become open and honest FIRST. Thus they are stuck in their reflexive double bind. If Jack and Jill are dedicated to certain ideals of objectivity and systematic procedures, that dedication will not lead them to see how they can get out of their reflexive double bind---for objectivists cannot deal wisely with reflexive situations without violating taboos of the objectivists' paradigm/collusions. In fact, such a dedication can tighten the reflexive double bind; and make it impossible for them to recognize, describe, talk about, and wisely deal with the nature of their reflexive double bind. (c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in (On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy) ==========================================================