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This is Previous-Essay <== This-Essay ==> Following-Essay Click HERE on this line to find essays via Your-Key-Words. {Most frequent wordstarts of each essay will be put here.} ========================================================== %DON'T TALK THINK SILENCE RESOLVE AVOID CONFLICT 920829 Families and communities which have tacit rules which careful thinking about controversial issues. Much thinking entails verbalizing tentative ideals, articulations, putting thoughts into words; i.e., talking to ourselves. If we find that avoiding talking-out-loud about controversial issues is required by our family/community; we are likely to avoid talking to ourselves about those issues---and so avoid thinking about topics which it is not safe to think about out loud. To avoid the inhibition of clear thinking about controversial topics we need to develop skills in truthfully resolving the conflicts which are at the heart of controversial issues. Conflict resolution has to do with finding and creating ways to meet the real needs of as many parties to a conflict as can pointedly be met. Conflict resolution has to do with sorting out the differences between people's real needs, and what they carelessly and thoughtlessly feel that they need. If we cannot safely talk about those differences, we cannot think about them clearly and we cannot resolve the conflicts which lead us to be violent and destructive of ourselves, our families and our communities. "Don't talk" rules are disintegrative, evil rules. (c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in (On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy) ==========================================================