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This is http://www.essayz.com/a9206171.htm Previous-Essay <== This-Essay ==> Following-Essay Click HERE on this line to find essays via Your-Key-Words. {Most frequent wordstarts of each essay will be put here.} ========================================================== %FOOLISH SEX INTIMATE PERSON CONTEXT SECURITY RISK 920617 It is foolish to become intimately involved sexually with a person with whom you cannot confidently trust your life. In intimate sexual relationships we are highly vulnerable to each other. If we seek within sexual relationships to be sufficiently on the defensive (or on the offensive) to compensate for the vulnerability which is inherent in intimate sexuality, we thereby undermine the possibility of enjoying healthy sexual intimacy. It is foolish to become intimately involved sexually within a context which is not secure in the sense of security being the freedom to be vulnerable. Involvement in intimate sexuality makes us vulnerable to our context. If we seek within sexual relationships to be sufficiently on the defensive (or on the offensive) to compensate for the threats inherent in our environment, we thereby undermine the probability of enjoying healthy sexual intimacy. People who are seeking to complete themselves by connecting to other persons in sexual relationships tend to be people who lack self confidence and self esteem, and are prone to take excessive risks in seeking other people to connect with in insecure sexual relationships. They do not find what they seek and do not achieve the completion which they seek. They often become the victims of abusive others through the risks which are inherent in intimate sexuality. They often become trapped in unhealthy relationships which involve some form of addiction and/or codependency. They are not healthy themselves, and cannot give themselves in healthy ways to healthy sexual intimacy. They cannot be true to themselves or to each other; and so they cannot enjoy healthy sexuality. Beware of addictive persons who seek some other person to control in sexual intimacy! Such people may make themselves appear very seductive and sexually attractive; but that appearance is like the bait on a mouse trap. When the bait is attended to, the trap is likely to spring with unexpected and tragic consequences. The bait is very mis- leading. It is best to get to know another person quite well before taking the risk of getting deeply involved in sexual intimacy which makes you totally vulnerable! (c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in (On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy) ==========================================================