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This is http://www.essayz.com/a9202232.htm Previous-Essay <== This-Essay ==> Following-Essay Click HERE on this line to find essays via Your-Key-Words. {Most frequent wordstarts of each essay will be put here.} ========================================================== %FUNDAMENTAL CERTAIN BELIEF CONVICTION LISTEN LOVE 920223 So long as our most integrative intimacies are full of doubts and insecurity about the pleasures found therein---so long we lack integrity as regards our affective, cognitive, rational, physical, scientific, personal, communal and spiritual lives. Those aspects of our lives are not well integrated, and we are not well. We are ill-at-ease, because we are not at ease in our most integrative pleasures. We desperately need to integrate all aspects of our lives; openly and honestly. We cannot be securely at peace and free from disintegrative doubts until we do so. If we are in disintegrative doubt about whether or not we have permission from those who are nearest and dearest to us to enjoy our most ingratiate and intimate pleasures; then we are not secure, and we are bound to react defensively to any situation which we experience as threatening to us. Our defensive reactions rob others of their security, and we all become increasingly insecure and devoid of peaceful pleasures in exponential ways which grow in proportion to our insecurity. We may react to our increasing doubts by increasing our efforts to quell the doubts---through fanatical convictions, certainty, specialization, and narrow vision. We may selectively draw upon the apparent sources of security in our past beliefs and experiences; and construct out of them defenses against all that we experience as threats to our well being---all that we experience as denying us any confidence in our most integrative and intimate pleasures. We may become fundamentalists who heighten distinctions between themselves and those whom they perceive to be the enemy; in order to generate for themselves a cohesive community which seeks security in a clearly drawn distinctive identity which is free from internal ambiguity, doubts, and confusion. Thus are laid the foundations for fundamentalist's collusions. Fundamentalists play collusive games of mutual self deception about having the power to control and banish: doubts, insecurity, and imperfections---through collective vigorous efforts to purify their beliefs, expressions, convictions, attitudes, feelings, emotions, perceptions, language, minds, bodies, hearts, spirits and relationships. They seek security through purification, not through conflict resolution; through the repression of doubts, not through open and honest conversations and conversions; through shouting, not through listening; through excommunication, not through communication; through violence, not through gentleness. Fundamentalists set the stage for the growth of insecure communities within which most members of the communities have reasonable doubts about whether or not they have the right, freedom, or permission to enjoy their most integrative and intimate pleasures. To survive we must find ways to break the viscous and violent cycles generated by the various kinds of fundamentalists who engender many forms of violence through their tragically well intended efforts. It is not only overt violence, dishonesty, excommunication, and addictive behaviors which engender doubts and insecurity about enjoyment of pleasures within our most integrative intimate relationships. Doubts may be engendered by the lack of positive affirmations, affection, attention, acknowledgements, listening, dialogue, comfort, coherence, integrity and presence. When affirmative actions and communications are reasonably expected, but are absent; then doubts, insecurity, defensiveness, and violence all grow together in mutually supportive ways. To deal wisely with all these realities we must learn to understand how they interact with each other within us and our relationships. (c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in (On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy) ==========================================================