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This is http://www.essayz.com/a9104222.htm Previous-Essay <== This-Essay ==> Following-Essay Click HERE on this line to find essays via Your-Key-Words. {Most frequent wordstarts of each essay will be put here.} ========================================================== %FOCUS ATTENTION CONTROL ILLEGITIMATE PLEASURE SEX 910422 We need to take time to think about and be in dialogue regarding the following facts of life. Much of our human attention is compulsive and is: focused upon or diverted away from the presence or absence of prescribed or forbidden levels or kinds of control or lack of control over the presence or absence of permitted or forbidden kinds or levels of pleasure or pain in permitted or forbidden times, places or other kinds of contexts. These preoccupations are seldom if ever integrative. The preoccupations are often disintegrative. We need permission to let go of the preoccupations. We do not need the preoccupations. We do need honest liberating love in place of the preoccupations which imprison us and cause alienation among us. The preoccupations do not liberate us to be our true selves with unique integrity and honesty. With the preoccupations we play games which are: dishonest addictive codependent collusive manipulative coercive violent destructive disintegrative depersonalizing objective analytic predictive and presumptuously attempting to appear to control what cannot be controlled. Often our preoccupations pertain directly or indirectly to sexual pleasure, pain, desire or frustration. Rarely do we know or feel that we do, should or can intuit, learn or know how to deal wisely, reflexively, thoughtfully or prayerfully with such sexual preoccupations and dilemmas. We do know, feel and intuit that we and others are uncomfortable, embarrassed or fearful regarding our sexual preoccupations and dilemmas. We are rarely comfortable, secure, or at ease in dialogue, conversation, communication or listening to ourselves or each other focusing attentively upon sexual preoccupations or dilemmas. We lack the insights, principles and ideals needed to motivate, guide and direct our attention to other than the presence or absence of prescribed or forbidden levels or kinds of control or lack of control over the presence or absence of permitted or forbidden kinds or levels of pleasure or pain in permitted or forbidden times, places or other kinds of contexts. (c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in (On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy) ==========================================================