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This is http://www.essayz.com/a9102241.htm Previous-Essay <== This-Essay ==> Following-Essay Click HERE on this line to find essays via Your-Key-Words. {Most frequent wordstarts of each essay will be put here.} ========================================================== %RELATIONSHIP INTIMATE ELEMENTS PEOPLE HUMAN HONEST 910224 The intimate relationships which develop between people develop as they do because of how people approach each other and reflexively accept/reject and encourage/discourage each other's offerings of possible ways of relating. The relationship becomes their creator, as much as they are creators of the relationship. Personal relationships are not caused by the inherent natures of two impersonal particles which collide in the random course of events; thus the course of a personal relationship cannot be predicted in terms of the natures of the participants before the beginning of the relationship. Personal relationships are not controlled from inside any control center; thus no participant can determine the course of a relationship. The process of the development of intimate relationships cannot be meaningfully studied objectively in the standard scientific mode of relating to the object of study; because only participants in the relationship are fully informed of what is taking place within the relationship. Detachment is not a sound foundation for gaining information about the dynamics of an intimate relationship. Neither is participation a sound foundation for gaining an objective perspective on the dynamics of an intimate relationship. The situation is analogous to the Heisenberg Uncertainty principle of physics in that there is a limit on the combined accuracies of participatory knowledge and objective knowledge. Objective perspectives of the dynamics of the development of intimate relationships do not provide light to show the way and guide such developments in integrative ways. The scientific concepts of cause and effect are not adequate when considering what the participants can and cannot do to lead the development of an intimate relationship. The participants are not entirely in control of the course of events, for the relationship is giving them birth, as much as they are creating the relationship. The concepts of cause and effect are not clarifying concepts in such developments. Participants in an intimate relationship cannot effectively plan the future of their relationship and be in control of the fulfillment of the plan; not even if they cooperate in the development of the plan and certainly not if they do not cooperate in the development of the plan. External considerations are bound to impinge on the relationship and have consequences over which the participants cannot have control. Only in a broad sense can the participants in a relationship commit themselves to the sustenance of the integrity of their relationship in the face of adversity; they cannot control its evolution fully. (c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in (On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy) ==========================================================