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This is http://www.essayz.com/a9101131.htm Previous-Essay <== This-Essay ==> Following-Essay Click HERE on this line to find essays via Your-Key-Words. {Most frequent wordstarts of each essay will be put here.} ========================================================== %PLEASURE CONTROL RELATIONSHIP PERSONAL THING ENJOY 910113 If we find some personal relationship gives us pleasure we may be tempted to regain that pleasure by trying to control the relationship for that purpose. The pleasure which we enjoyed, however, was rooted in the authenticity and honesty of the original relationship. Such pleasure cannot be regained through manipulation and control which undermines authenticity and honesty. We may be able to control some aspects of what objects do: their forms, compositions and accelerations. We can describe some invariable patterns in inter-object relationships with scientific laws, but we cannot change any of those invariable patterns which are accurately described by scientific laws. We cannot pass new scientific laws as legislatures pass civil laws. We cannot truly control any persons as individuals. At best we can get individuals to pretend to be as we indicate we want them to be. There are no invariable patterns in inter-personal relationships. As soon as one is described, someone is likely in rebellion to refuse to conform to the pattern and be the exception which undermines the invariability of the presumed pattern. Objects and objective relationships do not provide much guidance for understanding or controlling persons and inter-personal relationships. There are essential differences between the two kinds of relationships. Inter-personal relationships are not objects or like objects, and cannot be understood in objective ways because it is the participants in the relationships who are in reflexive ways trying to understand their own relationships---and by the definition of what is meant by objective understanding it is impossible for participants in relationships to objectively understand their own relationships. Objectivity indicates detachment from what is to be understood. Participants cannot be detached from their own participation, just as water cannot be dry. (c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in (On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy) ==========================================================