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This is Previous-Essay <== This-Essay ==> Following-Essay Click HERE on this line to find essays via Your-Key-Words. {Most frequent wordstarts of each essay will be put here.} ========================================================== %CONFORMAL THOUGHTS DESIRES BEHAVIORS REJECTION 901110 Often when we are rejected because of our own non- conformal perceptions, thoughts, desires and behaviors. Our reaction to the rejection may be to seek people who will accept us on the basis of what lead others to reject us. We thus set up a conflict between those who have rejected us because of what and who we are, and others whom we seek to accept us because of what and who we are. Such conflict only heightens our alienation from each other person who is seeking conditional love, and all too often we experience the flip side of the coin of conditional love; i.e., conditional rejection. We cannot enjoy conditional love without soon suffering the other side of the coin of conditional love; i.e., conditional rejection. When we suffer conditional rejection it does us no good to go looking for the coin of conditional love; for it is the coin which bought for us conditional rejection. We only need look on the flip side of the coin of conditional rejection to find the face of conditional love. When we experience conditional rejection we need to look for a different kind of reality than the two sided coin of conditional love/rejection. We need to seek the transcendence of conditional love/rejection and learn to recognize true love which speaks truly within open and honest intimate relationships. True love unconditionally gives the gift of true security. True love is not acquired for a price. True love cannot be bought for any price; it is an unconditional gift. True love is not earned, exchanged, bartered, won, acquired, or awarded for meritorious service. True love is not paid for after the fact with money, considerations, gifts, service, sacrifices, beliefs, etc. True love is not won in battle or in conflict; for it is not a reward. In true love people are as honest with each other as is humanly possible. In true love people do not play collusive games of mutual self deception and are not addicted to manipulative technologies or codependent support. (c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in (On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy) ==========================================================