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This is http://www.essayz.com/a9007261.htm Previous-Essay <== This-Essay ==> Following-Essay Click HERE on this line to find essays via Your-Key-Words. {Most frequent wordstarts of each essay will be put here.} ========================================================== %MASK HEALTHY DESIRE EXPRESS DISHONEST ADDICT NEED 900726 When healthy desires are dishonestly masked due to misleading ideals and values, they often end up being dishonestly acted out as expressions of addicts' felt needs. The addict's felt needs are really felt to be needs. The feelings are real and really need to be honestly expressed as they are felt. What are felt to be needs, however, are not really needs, but addictive desires which are confused with healthy needs and desires; because of the dishonest masks put on because of misleading ideals and values. When people believe that it is improper to honestly express their actual feelings, they often put on masks to hide their actual feelings, so as to conform to what are regarded as proper expectations. The belief that it is improper to honestly express your true feelings, is generated by disintegrative ideals and values which lead victims of that belief to sacrifice personal and communal integrity to fulfill conformal expectations. When masks are dishonestly worn to hide real healthy emotions and needs, the healthy emotions and needs are thereby converted into feelings of addictive needs which are acted out as expressions of addicts' felt needs. The addict finds it impossible to repress the expressions of such felt needs in the same way that it was possible to hide real emotions in efforts to conform to other people's expectations. The really felt addictive needs are confused versions of the hidden healthy emotions, they are really felt; but they are not real needs. The problem when society becomes an addict is for society to learn how to distinguish between really felt needs and real healthy needs and emotions. Addiction is the process of confusing these realities and treating them as if they were the same as each other. Recovery from codependence and addiction is the process of learning to distinguish them, and learning to honestly express each in integrative ways. Honestly expressing the feeling of a healthy need or desire is not the same thing as acting upon such a feeling of a healthy need or desire. Honestly telling someone how you feel and what your desires are, is not the same as acting out our your feelings and desires. Not all forms of expression of feelings and desires are equivalent; some expressions convey information symbolically without overt action, some expressions are symbolic action which conveys information through action, and some expressions are confused action which conveys little information due to the confusions usually associated with coercive manipulations and violent behaviors. Addicts and codependents tend to confuse the various forms of expression and regard them as being equivalent to each other. The differences are important and need to be honored. In the absence of honor being accorded to differences between various forms of expression people who are prone to addiction do not feel secure enough to honestly express their felt healthy needs and desires, and are prone to put on masks to hide their healthy needs and desires in efforts to conform to expectations. Thus begins the tragic vicious cycle of addiction and codependence---due to misbeliefs based upon disintegrative ideals and values which are served sincerely in the beginning. (c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in (On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy) ==========================================================