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This is http://www.essayz.com/a9005282.htm Previous-Essay <== This-Essay ==> Following-Essay Click HERE on this line to find essays via Your-Key-Words. {Most frequent wordstarts of each essay will be put here.} ========================================================== %DISHONEST ADDICT EXTERNAL IMPRESSION CONTROL FAIL 900528 The addict is externally directed and is so concerned about making a chosen im-press-ion that the addict ignores internal awareness in favor of bringing press-ure to bear to leave the chosen im-press-ion upon others. This puts the addict and others under pressure which leaves them all with the impression that im-press-ions rather than reality are what count. In the context of impression control honesty is not valued and dishonesty is just one among other tools of manipulation. The tools of impression control include overt lies, but some of the more useful tools are presenting misleading behavior and statements, presenting truths selectively to leave others with false impressions, and selective silences which leave people with the impression of assent/agreement when the reverse is true. The addict is so concerned with impression control that effectiveness in the program of impression control is a supreme concern. This means that all false actions must be presented in a highly convincing way through effective acting. The effective actor gets "into the act" and presents himself/herself as authentically the character of the "act". In the instance of the addict this means that the addict must so get into the "act" as to really believe the dishonest act to be authentic, true, honest, coherent, and having integrity; when such is simply not the case. It is impossible for the addict to distinguish between the truth and the im-press-ion which the addict is trying to leave upon others by bringing false "pressure" upon them. In the action of the act the addict becomes confused about the difference between truth and falsehood and so disintegrates as a person, and contributes to the disintegration of the surrounding community. The addict cannot be honest about the mistakes made and the falsehoods perpetuated; and so cannot learn from mistakes, and repeats them over and over. In the absence of honesty learning from mistakes is impossible, and they are repeated over and over. Creativity and the ability to deal with new situations requires the ability to deal honestly with the consequences of tentative efforts, and the ability to quickly decide which tentative efforts were imprudent; mistaken. These abilities the addict does not have. The primary ability the addict has is the ability to make things look "good" when in fact they are disintegrating. This ability has only a short-term positive pay-off; but a long term negative pay-off in personal and communal disintegration. The addict needs to be confronted with the truth, offered in a loving way which frees the addict to accept the truth and deal with it realistically. (c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in (On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy) ==========================================================