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This is http://www.essayz.com/a9004232.htm Previous-Essay <== This-Essay ==> Following-Essay Click HERE on this line to find essays via Your-Key-Words. {Most frequent wordstarts of each essay will be put here.} ========================================================== %TELL EXPLAIN UNDERSTAND RATIONALIZE OURSELF SPIRIT 900423 Many of our dilemmas have to do with how we habitually explain to ourself the meaning of our experiences which flow from our decisions and actions, our choices, and how we choose to be ourself. We would like to think well of ourselves and be well, free of dis-ease. If we lack integrity we are split. One part of us tries to explain to the other part of us why things turn out in ways we do not like. Because we want to think well of ourself and feel well about ourself, one part of our disintegrated self is prone to explain the consequences of our mistakes in terms of: the failings of others, misfortune, inadequate luck, unfair rules, paranoid perceptions, etc. It is not easy to own up to our own mistakes, neglect, ignorance, stubbornness, dishonesty, etc. It seems to be easier to try to direct blame, fault, responsibility, etc. away from our own self. In the long term it is not easier to deflect blame. When we do not own our own mistakes we do not learn from our own mistakes, and much less from other people's mistakes. The long term consequences of refusing to learn from our own mistakes are much worse than the long term benefits of owning them and learning from them. The way in which we talk to ourself and explain to ourself why things turn out as they do in our lives, is an important factor in the development of our life. If we dishonestly rationalize to our self and seek to justify our self to our self, we are clearly fragmented and lack integrity; although that is not clear to our self. When we lack integrity we need to seek integrity in meditation, relaxation, prayer and supportive communities. We need to find people who will accept our self as it is, even when we do not accept our self it is. When we lack integrity we need to seek I-Thou relationships to serve as personal contexts for motion into honest dialogue which may heal our fragmented I-It relationships. We need to seek the truth about our self in open and honest I-Thou relationships, not in manipulative I-It relationships where each agent is trying to control each other agent to achieve some short term relative advantage. (c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in (On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy) ==========================================================