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This is Previous-Essay <== This-Essay ==> Following-Essay Click HERE on this line to find essays via Your-Key-Words. {Most frequent wordstarts of each essay will be put here.} ========================================================== %NURTURE CARE MYSELFISH RESENT BALANCE CODEPENDENT 900324 If we are out of balance as regards how much of our time, energy, and resources we devote to taking care of ourself, and how much to taking care of others---we are bound to have an attitude problem. Our attitude problem is both caused by our being out of balance, and is the cause of our being out of balance. The more out of balance our attitudes are, the less we engage in balanced caring for ourself and others; our and their attitudes reflect the abuses inherent in the lack of balance in our attitudes and behavior. An unbalance in attitude and behavior leads to a rate of change in balance proportional to the degree of unbalance, and in the direction of unbalance; and so to exponential change away from balance. To maintain balance we need to devote time daily to maintaining balance. Balance is not achieved once and for all; it must be maintained day by day all through our changing lives. If we do not devote an appropriate amount of our time, energy, and resources to taking care of ourself, we are bound to resent the imbalance at some dim level of consciousness; and have negative attitudes towards those whom we serve in unhealthy ways. Our negative attitudes are bound to undermine the quality of our relationships with those whom we serve as codependents; and set us up for additional attempts to fix the deteriorating relationships with additional unbalanced and imprudent service. If we do not devote an appropriate amount of our time, energy, and resources to developing healthy relationships and being supportive of our neighbors' efforts to take care of themselves; they are bound to develop negative attitudes towards us because of our unresponsive attitudes and behaviors. Our negligent attitudes and behaviors are bound to undermine the quality of our neighborly relationships; and set us up for conflicts which originate in the resentment and anger which are nurtured by such imbalance. These considerations are spelled out in simple and easy to understand language by Dr. Spencer Johnson in his short book "One Minute for Myself". It offers well expressed suggestions appropriate to people trapped in addictive/codependent relationships within dysfunctional families, churches, schools, colleges, universities, businesses, and political contexts. He tells an effective story which makes the points which need to be made in very personal ways. (c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in (On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy) ==========================================================