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This is http://www.essayz.com/a9003142.htm Previous-Essay <== This-Essay ==> Following-Essay Click HERE on this line to find essays via Your-Key-Words. {Most frequent wordstarts of each essay will be put here.} ========================================================== %HONEST INTEGRATIVE EFFORTS ACHIEVEMENT APPEARANCE 900314 Honesty is the essence of both personal and communal integrity. Honest efforts are the essence of integrative behavior. We are unlikely to succeed in any meaningful ways if we engage in dishonest efforts to appear to succeed in achieving technical success which has been defined to be essential to self esteem, self respect, acceptance, love and affection. When we do engage in dishonest efforts to appear successful we are likely to tie ourselves in knots and experience tension which is rooted in our instinctive concern regarding the disintegrative effects of dishonest efforts. In such efforts a large fraction of our energy goes into dealing with the personal disintegration which they cause. We instinctively know that it is important for us to avoid making false affirmations by appearing to succeed when in fact we are disintegrating. We recognized instinctively that the way to achievements is just as important as the appearance of having been successful in such an achievement. The way as well as the destination is of great importance. The way must be integrative or the destination will be disintegrative. Meaningful achievements are paradoxically not entirely the result of our efforts. Trying too hard to succeed can undermine the possibility of enjoying meaningful achievements. People who are trying too hard are likely to be willing to engage in deceptive behavior, to appear to succeed; when in fact their efforts are disintegrative because they are not honest efforts. Each achievement and how we regard it makes an affirmation regarding the worth of that which is achieved. We make affirmations not only with words; but by what we work to achieve, by what we achieve, by how we regard our achievements and by what we appear to achieve. It is importance that there be congruence between our achievements and the appearance of our achievements; for we may make false affirmations otherwise. False affirmations lead to both personal and communal disintegration. Apparent achievers who make many false affirmations by the false appearances of their apparent achievements ultimately fail; both in the sense of eventually failing, and in the sense of failing all along the way to be people of integrity. Being whole is the essence of paradoxically being successful. Disintegration is the result of being only apparently successful. There is no authentic enjoyment of false achievements. The authenticity of joy in success depends upon the authenticity of paradoxical achievement. Authentic achievements are paradoxical in that they are not entirely the result of strenuous effort; for strenuous effort usually signals attempts to conceal dishonest efforts. Many of our strenuous efforts are blocked by our instinctive awareness of the hazards of the false impressions associated with trying too hard to achieve what seems to be required to have a healthy self esteem, to earn respect, to be accepted, to be loved, to enjoy affection. We are often paralyzed by the combined fear of appearing to have failed, and having it become apparent to ourself/others that we lack integrity in our efforts to appear successful. We are too often preoccupied with the appearance of achievement of success, rather than with being ourselves with personal and communal integrity. We need to develop clear languages by which to point to these distinctions between false appearances with their consequences, and paradoxical success in being whole with joyful success. The articulation of such distinctions can play an important role in developing a communal understanding which will provide an integrative context for meaningful achievements which we can enjoy together in honest dialogue. It is more important to be authentically our true self than to appear to fulfill the ideals of some other person. Attempting to fulfill other people's ideals all too often leads us into deceptive behavior, as we try to appear to fulfill their ideals. Much of the stress and strain of life is rooted in dishonest efforts where we are trying too hard to appear to be successful. (c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in (On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy) ==========================================================