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This is http://www.essayz.com/a8912201.htm Previous-Essay <== This-Essay ==> Following-Essay Click HERE on this line to find essays via Your-Key-Words. {Most frequent wordstarts of each essay will be put here.} ========================================================== %MYSTERY HOLY THOU RESPONSE CONTROL REGULATE SEX 891220 The nature of our lives flows in large part by how we respond to that which is mysterious and holy in our lives. Our lives tend towards meaningless sterility if we regularly respond to the mystery of I-Thou and holy relationships with efforts to ignore, analytically understand, predict, regulate and control. We get into trouble when we make assumptions which lead us to perceive the mysterious and the holy to be embodied in particular objects, places, procedures, regulations, technologies, etc. That which is mysterious and holy is encountered in personal relationships: not in things, places, procedures, regulations, technologies, etc. which can be analytically understood, predicted, regulated and controlled. The keys to meaningful lives are not to be found in analytic understanding, prediction, regulation and control of human relationships. Addicts and codependents illustrate this fact in their daily lives: but not all people who have eyes to see can see what their daily lives illustrate. It is a mystery why many people compulsively try to eliminate and control mystery through the use of various procedures and technology. Those who are most successful in eliminating mystery and holiness from their lives---do so through their participation in collusive games of mutual self deception: by closing their eyes and pretending to see in keeping with their mutual self deceptions. They become very confused and disintegrate in lives devoid of joy and meaning. Their personal relationships do not satisfy them, and they turn to addictive technologies in efforts to discover satisfying technical procedures by which to restore meaning to their lives; through control without mystery in the absence of the holy. The integrative education of each new generation, to help young people to learn to respond in healthy ways to the mysterious and holy, is not a simple technical procedure; it entails in essential ways that which is mysterious and holy, and so cannot be fully under human control. Usually the student has less power than the teacher, professor, mentor, or parent. The student is in a position of vulnerability relative to the educator who seeks to lead the educational process. Power corrupts and undisciplined power corrupts absolutely. Thus there is need for some form of discipline in educational processes; especially in educational processes pertaining to intimate relationships in which we encounter the holy mysteries of life. Yet even sincere attempts to control educational processes (to avoid abuse of power) can mislead the educational process in tragic ways; because those with power tend to seek to be in control in paternalistic ways. Objectivity and scientific analysis are not the keys to responsibility in attempts to educate young people responsibly with respect to the mysteries of holy intimate relationships. People who are compulsively objective and scientific are not incarnations of wisdom regarding mystery, the holy, or healthy intimate relationships. They are not ideal educators because the educational process occurs as much through being examples with integrity, as through cognitive instruction. The deepest mysteries are encountered in the most intimate relationships which are characterized by both vulnerability and security; and by the risk of vulnerability leading to abuse. Education regarding intimate relationships is ineffective in the absence of appropriate intimacy; and risky in the presence of appropriate intimacy. Each society struggles with the dilemma of drawing the distinction between integrative and disintegrative intimacy in the educational process; whether it be in the home, church, school, college, or university setting. Integrative intimacy is characterized by openness and honesty which entail vulnerability; and the risk of powerful people abusing those people who are willing to enter into open and honest relationships. Those who seek to eliminate all risk, thereby eliminate the possibility of authentic education regarding that which is mysterious and holy. It is unwise to grant to particular people the power to control the process, for with that power comes the risk of abuse also. These considerations are particularly significant when dealing with the sexual aspects of intimate relationships. The risks of abuse are particularly great when attempting to engage in helpful sexual education which is authentic, open, and honest. Authenticity, openness and honesty regarding sexuality tend to open up the possibilities of becoming sexually involved. The risks involved in trying to insure (through controls) that there will never be any abuse are equally great. The avoidance of authenticity, openness and honesty as ways to avoid abuse, leads to a failure to helpfully educate regarding all that which is mysterious and holy in intimate human relationships. (c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in (On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy) ==========================================================