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This is http://www.essayz.com/a8909162.htm Previous-Essay <== This-Essay ==> Following-Essay Click HERE on this line to find essays via Your-Key-Words. {Most frequent wordstarts of each essay will be put here.} ========================================================== %PATERNAL EGO FEAR OF CHILD'S FAILURE CODEPENDENCE 890916 Parents may invest too much of their ego in their children's lives in such ways that they regard their children's successes and failures as their own successes and failures. If such is the case, and the parents' lack healthy self esteem, they may lead their children into addictive and codependent relationships. Such circumstances lead to paternalistic efforts to control the children's lives to insure that they turn out "right" in the parents' eyes. In the absence of healthy self esteem, parents may not deal honestly with the their children's failures to fulfill their own (the parents') coercive expectations. Because of such failures, parents may reject in various ways their children's efforts to be themselves, and so reject their children, leaving them insecure and without a firm foundation upon which to build their own lives. The systemic dynamics of addictive and codependent relationships can not be dealt with wisely without some wise understanding of how such relationships are rooted in early family dynamics; and in later relationships which echo early family dynamics in schools, work places, religious services, government councils, marketplaces, etc. In the absence of a wise understanding of the dynamics of systemic addiction and codependence we blindly illustrate those dynamics in our addictive organizations, schools, churches, families, and intimate personal relationships. The whole process is a process of personal and communal disintegration, which we cannot see wisely because we lack personal and communal integrity. One of the most important things we have to do is to use wisely and courageously such clear visions as we may occasionally enjoy. (c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in (On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy) ==========================================================