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This is Previous-Essay <== This-Essay ==> Following-Essay Click HERE on this line to find essays via Your-Key-Words. {Most frequent wordstarts of each essay will be put here.} ========================================================== %CONTEXT ACCEPT MEANING REAL LOVE SECURITY TRUST 890414 The meaning of an offering of real love depends greatly upon the context within which the love is offered. The person who offers real love cannot fully control the context within which the offer is made, for the context is defined by the full range of previous experiences and responses of the person to whom the offer is made. Because of the context in which a real offer of love is made, the offer may be perceived as something quite different than what it really is. The offer as experienced may be threatening in ways beyond the understanding to the person making the real offer of love. In intimate personal relationships perceptions are realities; meaningful relationships are possible only when there is a significant level of congruity in the perceptions of the people who are involved with each other. Perceptions can fail to be congruent due to a lack of common previous experience, due to different habits of mind and heart, due to differences in meanings assigned to words and/or actions, different values and ideals etc. Perceptions depend upon the context of all such realities. Thus the meaning of an offering of real love depends greatly upon the context within which the love is offered. Individuals cannot control the contexts within which love is offered; thus, individuals cannot control the effect of offerings of real love. Contexts depend in real ways upon communal realities which play significant roles in setting the stage for intimate personal relationships. Communal patterns have great power for good or ill in creating the contexts within which real offers of love are perceived, accepted and/or rejected. Personal and communal integrity depends greatly upon the contexts which communal habits of mind and heart create. To deal with personal and communal disintegration it will be helpful to understand the ways in which the acceptance and/or rejection of real offers of love depends upon communal habits of mind and heart. (c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in (On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy) ==========================================================