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This is http://www.essayz.com/a8904071.htm Previous-Essay <== This-Essay ==> Following-Essay Click HERE on this line to find essays via Your-Key-Words. {Most frequent wordstarts of each essay will be put here.} ========================================================== %MEANINGLESS REACTIONS TO ADDICTIVE CONTROL 890407 Often people try to control each other to elicit from each other desired conformal behavior. Such efforts seek compensation for a perceived lack of meaningful responses to personal presence. The person who does not perceive themselves to be honestly loved will often try to manipulate others into behaving properly in dishonest ways. Propriety is divorced from honesty. Such manipulative efforts inevitably generate personally meaningless reactions, rather than meaningful personal responses. The personal meaning of a response depends upon the freedom of the respondent. If the behavior of the "respondent" is not authentically free, it is not meaningful in the way it would be were it authentically free. If Jack manipulates Jill into behaving as if she loved Jack, then Jill's behavior is not authentically meaningful. For Jill's behavior to be authentically meaningful to Jack, she must be free to behave in other ways; yet freely chose to behave in spontaneously intimate ways. To elicit meaningful responses from others we need to invite them to be responsive; we need to avoid any hint of trying to get them to behave in any particular way. If we know how we want them to behave, and try to get them to behave as we want them to behave, then we cannot expect to receive meaningful response from them; we are much more likely to get a disappointing reaction from them. (c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in (On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy) ==========================================================