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This is Previous-Essay <== This-Essay ==> Following-Essay Click HERE on this line to find essays via Your-Key-Words. {Most frequent wordstarts of each essay will be put here.} ========================================================== %ADDICTIVE DEPENDENT RELATIONSHIP ELEMENTS CHANGE 890406 In human relationships people are created by their relationships, as much as people create their relationships. It is difficult to make an honest case for perceiving people as existing first, and their relationships as being created by people who exist first. One can just as well contend that people's relationships are primary, and that their individual characters are the consequences of their relationships. Addicts and codependents are created by their relationships as much as their relationships are created by their individual characters and behaviors. It may be that it will be more helpful to focus upon the relationships of addicts and their codependents than just upon the addicts and their codependents themselves. The relationships may be more readily changed than the individuals who participate in the relationships; and it may be that when the relationships are changed appropriately, the individuals who have been trapped in the relationship will naturally change without coercion or rebellion. Individuals rebel against intrusion by outsiders who try to change the individuals. Human relationships are part of communal patterns of relationships. Changes in the communal patterns of relationships may be instituted by institutions in such ways as to discourage addictive and codependent relationships, and to encourage integrative personal relationships which transcend the collusive games of mutual self deception which are so characteristic of addictive and codependent relationships. (c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in (On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy) ==========================================================