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This is http://www.essayz.com/a8903022.htm Previous-Essay <== This-Essay ==> Following-Essay Click HERE on this line to find essays via Your-Key-Words. {Most frequent wordstarts of each essay will be put here.} ========================================================== %LEARN FROM EXPERIENCE MISTAKES FAILURES ERRORS 890302 To learn from our experiences we must admit that we are not perfect, that we cannot achieve perfection, that we have made mistakes and failed in various ways. Any inclination to pretend that we are perfect, can achieve perfection, or that we never make mistakes is an inclination which will block progress towards that which we pretend to have already achieved. Learning comes from taking note of the consequences of our own decisions and actions. We can learn from taking note of the consequences of other people's decisions and actions, but such learning is not likely to occur if we can not learn from taking note of the consequences of our own decisions and actions. This requires that we be open and honest with ourselves and others in conversations which can convert us from tendencies to repeat such mistakes. Addicts and codependents are prone to be dishonest with themselves and others; and so to repeat mistakes about which they cannot converse openly and honestly. Because of their tendency to be dishonest they can not learn from their mistakes. Codependents who help addicts to survive their mistakes without learning anything from their mistakes in turn do not learn from their mistakes as codependents in performing excessive rescue missions of self-serving mercy. People who cannot see their own mistakes openly and honestly in the context of communal conversations cannot learn well from their mistakes. They cannot be well in learning from their mistakes. They often believe that to be well and acceptable involves not making mistakes, rather than learning from mistakes. To teach children how to learn from their mistakes the children need to be accepted and supported with love when they make mistakes, and helped to learn from the mistakes that they do make. When children are rejected affectively because of the mistakes which they make, they learn that they must pretend not to make mistakes in order to be accepted; then they cannot learn from their mistakes. Such rejections lead to patterns of addictive and codependent behavior through which people seek to earn acceptance and love through manipulative deception. It is important to learn from our mistakes and to understand the childhood roots of addictive and codependent behavior. Otherwise our mistakes will be repeated generation after generation in a tragic cycle of well intended behavior which is mislead by misunderstanding and ignorance. (c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in (On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy) ==========================================================