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This is Previous-Essay <== This-Essay ==> Following-Essay Click HERE on this line to find essays via Your-Key-Words. {Most frequent wordstarts of each essay will be put here.} ========================================================== %REFLEXIVE EXPECTATION CONCEPTION ACCEPT REJECT 880921 We conceive, realize, create, make, fulfill, etc. ourselves through our reflexive expectations, acceptances and rejections. Who we become depends critically upon what we expect of ourselves; both in the sense of anticipation and in the sense of demand. What people expect of each other has great power to influence growth. What people expect of themselves has great power to influence growth. It is critical what we expect of ourselves regarding self acceptance or rejection in the face of our successes or failures in fulfilling our expectations. We disintegrate if we expect ourselves to reject ourselves in the face of failures to fulfill demanding expectations. We give each other reflexive expectations regarding achievements and regarding acceptance/rejection in the face of failures to fulfill demanding expectations. If a community gives its infant new members reflexive expectations of reflexive rejection the community will disintegrate. We follow the lead of our values, ideals, principles, and reflexive expectations. We try to be what we believe we should be, whether or not that is possible. If in a demanding way we expect ourselves to be what we cannot be, we are bound to fail. If, in addition, we demand of ourselves that we reject everybody who fails to fulfill demanding expectations, we are bound to disintegrate. All systems of values, ideals, principles and goals are essentially reflexive in that they bear upon what those people who embody the elements of the system will, from time to time, reflect in some way upon whether or not they as persons are acceptable or rejectable in terms of the system which they embody. The essence of a system is to be found as much in what the system calls for regarding acceptance/rejection of people, as in the particular values, ideals, principles and goals which lead to the personal expectations regarding being and achieving. Self esteem, its presence and its lack, and all that go with the presence and lack of self esteem; are all intimately related to systems of reflexive expectations which are rooted in the system of values, ideals, principles and goals which are embodied in the members of a community. All these considerations relate in central ways to the degree to which the members of a community and the community as a whole participate in collusive games of mutual self deception, in addictive, and in codependent relationships. The integration or disintegration of the community flows from reflexive expectations regarding the character and quality of human being, human relationships, human acceptances, human rejections, human conversations, human failures, and human learning. If a community is unaware of its own reflexive expectations, and is not in open and honest dialogue regarding its own reflexive expectations, it probable that the community is disintegrating. Any system of values, ideals, principles and goals which leads to personal and communal disintegration should be questioned profoundly in the open and honest market places of public exchange. The community, that fails to so question such a system will become the disintegrative victim of its own communal leadership. The community which idolizes objectivity, research, accuracy, precision, prediction, understanding, control, science, scholarship, or any other good human creation- manipulation, will idealize them and fail to recognize the ways in which their ideal idols lead them to personal and communal disintegration. (c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in (On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy) ==========================================================