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This is Previous-Essay <== This-Essay ==> Following-Essay Click HERE on this line to find essays via Your-Key-Words. {Most frequent wordstarts of each essay will be put here.} ========================================================== %ATTITUDES TOWARDS INTIMATE DIALOGUE CONVERSATION 880503 Our attitudes towards intimate dialogue are habitual patterns of thought and feeling regarding taking the risk of entering into vulnerable open and honest relationships. Such habitual patterns develop in response to regular patterns in how others treat our experimental efforts to enter into intimate relationships. If our imperfect efforts are encouraged, we are likely to develop healthy attitudes towards intimate conversation and so enjoy conversion from uninformed private conceptions to informed communal conceptions of what is real and worthy of respect. If as children we see people rejected and excommunicated for making blunders in trying to enter into intimate dialogue, then we as young people are likely to try to avoid making such blunders at all costs; including the cost of life-long alienation and loneliness. Each community contributes to its own unity or disintegration by how it treats young people's imperfect attempts to reach out and form intimate relationships. The communal attitudes towards intimacy grow in the habitual patterns of how young people are treated as they seek to develop intimate relationships; and what guidance and encouragement they are offered in their efforts to develop intimate relationships. When those who have learned through experience do not share their learning and experience, the next generation is the poorer for their failure to share what has been learned. The most convincing learning is the learning which involves personal involvement and intellectual understanding. Young people learn most helpfully from those who have integrated their own personal experience with their conceptual patterns of thought, so that they live a coherent life of affect and intellect. These considerations are important with regard to our attitudes towards vulnerable intimate relationships. (c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in (On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy) ==========================================================