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This is http://www.essayz.com/a8803222.htm Previous-Essay <== This-Essay ==> Following-Essay Click HERE on this line to find essays via Your-Key-Words. {Most frequent wordstarts of each essay will be put here.} ========================================================== %WILLING ATTITUDE AND RELATIONSHIP PARTICIPATION 880322 The characteristics of personal relationships depend profoundly upon the attitudes of the participants in the relationships and upon how willingly they participate in the relationships. Some people are trapped in relationships in which they did not actively seek to be participants. Circumstances cast them into the role of unwilling participants in the relationships. They may not perceive any alternative to being a participant in the relationships, and so they can not conceive of the possibility of not being participants in the relationships. It is not helpful to ask them if they wish to be participants, because they know of no alternative. Even so, such relationships may have cast over them the shadow of a lack of enthusiasm and a lack of a willing entry into the relationship through authentic desire and free choice from among alternatives. Some people continue to be participants in relationships which they initiated, or freely chose to enter into---but which have since become imprisoning relationships involving coercion, control, manipulation, violence, addiction, collusions, etc. They may not be clear about their participation and be very confused about the disintegration of the relationship and of their personality and character. They may not really want to escape the relationship; and in fact may be addicted to the relationship, but it is for them a prison in which they participate with less than authentic enthusiasm. Such entrapment in a relationship casts over the participants the shadow of death. The quality of a relationship depends upon the authenticity and spontaneity of the desires of the participants. Their interest and ability to contribute to the growth of the relationship is not defined by the attributes of the participants, what they own, or how interested the participants are in each other's attributes and possessions. The quality of a relationship relates to the quality of the dialogue (two-way) between the communicating participants, and to the quality of the communal support for the relationship. Attempts to control the quality of personal relationships tend to lead to the disintegration of the quality of the relationships. (c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in (On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy) ==========================================================