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This is http://www.essayz.com/a8706231.htm Previous-Essay <== This-Essay ==> Following-Essay Click HERE on this line to find essays via Your-Key-Words. {Most frequent wordstarts of each essay will be put here.} ========================================================== %UNDERSTANDING UNCOMFORTABLE SITUATION ADDICT 870623 To comfort someone who is in an uncomfortable situation entails accepting them as they are in the uncomfortable situation; i.e., uncomfortable. A person is not comforted by being instructed to pretend that their situation is not really what it really is. Dishonesty does not comfort. A person who is the victim of a misfortune is not comforted by being told that the misfortune is an illusion. We often feel the need to treat death, genuine tragedies, and the alienative consequences of taboos and collusions as illusions. In such uncomfortable situations we feel the need to play games of mutual self deception to comfort each other with the illusion that the alienative realities are just illusions; that the uncomfortable situations are not real. Such dishonesty does not comfort and it leaves us all uncomfortable with our own behavior. Dishonest behavior compounds discomfort by making us uncomfortable with behavior which leads to our personal disintegration, and to the disintegration of the community to which we would hope to turn when we need comfort. When we have sought comfort in games of mutual self deception and they make us uncomfortable, we find it nearly impossible to quit playing the games to honestly comfort each other in the face of the tragic consequences of our dishonest games. The pseudo comfort of collusions depend upon dishonesty. Genuine comfort depends upon dealing with each other honestly in mutually accepting ways within uncomfortable situations. Collusive games of mutual self deception trap us in prisons which make it impossible for us to comfort and to be comforted. When so trapped we tend to become addicted to an endless variety of means in which we desperately hope to find comfort; each focus of addiction ultimately adding to our discomfort and making true comfort with its prerequisites harder to accept. Then we play collusive games of mutual self deception with our co-dependents in our addictions while our personal and communal lives further disintegrate. (c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in (On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy) ==========================================================