This-essay is a8503241.htm which is available at the web-site www.essayz.com. See more notes at the bottom. Previous-Essay <== This-Essay ==> Following-Essay By-Months By-Years By-Words Webs of Like-&-Un-Like ESSAYS <==> Like-&-UN-Like This-One ========================================================== %NON-COERCIVE VULNERABILITY & INTIMACY 850324 Few people like to be forced to be vulnerable or intimate. It is only when intimacy and vulnerability are freely and mutually chosen (because of mutual desire which is free of coercion) that intimacy and vulnerability are experienced as positively meaningful and desirable. When one or more powerful people force one or more less powerful people to accept intimacy and vulnerability, then the whole experience lacks integrity, is unsatisfying, and undermines the personal and communal integrities of the participants. Intimacy and vulnerability are not inherently desirable regardless of context. Just as few people like to be forced to be vulnerable or intimate, so also, few people are helped by being denied the opportunity to be intimate in vulnerable relationships. Intimacy and vulnerability are not inherently evil regardless of context. Few people like to be forced to avoid intimacy and vulnerability. Yet those who have come to fear vulnerability and intimacy, because of coercions which they experienced, are prone to be coercive in efforts to keep others from experiencing vulnerability and intimacy; i.e., experiences which they regard as essentially evil, because of their own experiences of coerced intimacy and vulnerability. Coercion of one kind can not be corrected by coercion of another kind. Coercion generates defensiveness in efforts to avoid vulnerability which is feared. We are secure when we are free to be safely vulnerable and intimate without any coercion. Defensiveness does not generate such security. Defensive technologies do not assure such security, for they are predicated upon the use of force and power to coerce, to force others not to do what they are intent on doing; or to frustrate their efforts. No kind of coercion can be the means to the elimination of coercive vulnerability and/or intimacy. (c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in www.essayz.com Search for Integrity and Honesty (On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy) ==========================================================Lines beginning with a percent sign are KEYWORDS for use in ESSAY-System Searches. Their terminal digits are dates of writing in the format @yymmdd#, where @ = a means 99, @ = b means 20, and # = is a within-date essay-count. Links to date-adjacent essays are near page top & bottom.
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