This-essay is a8009281.htm which is available at the web-site www.essayz.com. See more notes at the bottom. Previous-Essay <== This-Essay ==> Following-Essay By-Months By-Years By-Words Webs of Like-&-Un-Like ESSAYS <==> Like-&-UN-Like This-One ========================================================== %HONEST EMOTIONS CONFORM 800928 Honest emotions are not normative in a conformal society. Emotional integrity is undermined by conformal pressures. People cannot "compute" what emotional response is called for in a given context and then with honesty respond emotionally in the expected way. people who feel the need to conform emotionally cannot be emotionally open and honest. The threat of emotional excommunication causes them to consider in each situation whether or not it is safe to be emotionally open and honest. The threat may exist internally, as well as externally. People often internalize threats of excommunication, and relieve others of having to actively maintain such a threat. People often reject themselves for being emotionally open and honest in violation of conventional standards of behavior. Such self-violence can be just as destructive as violence inflicted from without. The feeling that it is necessary to decide whether or not it is safe to be emotionally open and honest---undermines the possibility of emotionally healthy living. To promote emotional health it is necessary to create contexts which make it evident that such feelings are un-called for. Emotional health is promoted by occasions of affirmation of emotional honesty when conventional emotions are not expressed. People need to feel affirmed for revealing themselves honestly. People need to feel that they will not be judged and excommunicated for how they feel, for revealing their emotions or what they think about their feelings, or for revealing their private thoughts. Emotionally immature people feel threatened by open and honest expressions of non-conventional emotions. They regard such honest expressions as attacks upon them--- comparable to a physical attack resulting in physical harm. They compare their emotional distress to the physical distress of the victim of a physical assault, and feel that they have the right to be protected from such emotional assaults. People who respect such presumed rights promote emotional immaturity by helping to inhibit emotional honesty on the part of people seeking to live emotionally healthy lives---in a community dominated by emotionally immature people. It is dangerous to violate people's communication rights for any reason. (c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in www.essayz.com Search for Integrity and Honesty (On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy) ==========================================================Lines beginning with a percent sign are KEYWORDS for use in ESSAY-System Searches. Their terminal digits are dates of writing in the format @yymmdd#, where @ = a means 99, @ = b means 20, and # = is a within-date essay-count. Links to date-adjacent essays are near page top & bottom.
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