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This-essay is a7912206.htm which is available at the web-site www.essayz.com. See more notes at the bottom. Previous-Essay <== This-Essay ==> Following-Essay By-Months By-Years By-Words Webs of Like-&-Un-Like ESSAYS <==> Like-&-UN-Like This-One ========================================================== %VIOLENT DISAPPOINTMENTS 791220 Disappointments which are occasioned by violence are commonly recognized. Less often do people recognize the ways in which disappointments may be violent. Disappointments are due to unfulfilled expectations, and expectations may be violent in that they are coercive of others and violate the integrity of others. The disappointment associated with coercive expectations have some elements in common with punishment --- in that there is the generation of guilt directed toward the perceived cause of the disappointment. Rarely is it recognized that the generation of coercive expectations --- sets the stage for the disappointment. Thus the responsibilities of the disappointed person are not recognized, and the imposed responsibilities of the violated person are highlighted. The expectations appear reasonable, and the failure to satisfy them appear unreasonable and uncharitable. Guilt is directed toward the one who failed to fulfill the coercive expectations. Social conventions, taboos, collusions, and the like create many coercive expectations. Conventional people anticipate that all proper people will fulfill such "reasonable" expectations about social and private behavior. Conventional patterns of personal relationships are rather well defined, and individuals who do not fulfill the expectations based upon those patterns --- violently disappoint conventional people. The conventional people feel that they have been treated violently, and lash out as if they have been attacked; even though in fact they have only heard a juicy piece of gossip and took secret pleasure in hearing it. Their guilt due to their pleasure is then projected upon the victim of the gossip --- who disappointed their conventional expectations. The victim of the gossip is chosen as a scape goat. In more subtle ways violent disappointments may play roles in very close friendships within which patterns become coercive in unseen ways. The pleasures of anticipation come with the hazards of getting trapped in conventional patterns. It is not easy to avoid getting trapped --- without losing too many pleasures. (c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in www.essayz.com Search for Integrity and Honesty (On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy) ==========================================================
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This-essay is a7912206.htm which is available at the web-site www.essayz.com. These 5 lines echo top lines. Previous-Essay <== This-Essay ==> Following-Essay By-Months By-Years By-Words Webs of Like-&-Un-Like ESSAYS <==> Like-&-UN-Like This-One