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This-essay is a7902133.htm which is available at the web-site www.essayz.com. See more notes at the bottom. Previous-Essay <== This-Essay ==> Following-Essay By-Months By-Years By-Words Webs of Like-&-Un-Like ESSAYS <==> Like-&-UN-Like This-One ========================================================== %MUTUALITY VS RECIPROCITY 790213 In personal relationships mutuality and reciprocity are not the same. Jack may be in the habit of putting down Jill, and Jill may be in the habit of putting down Jack. That is a reciprocal relationship, not a mutual relationship. In such a reciprocal relationship Jack and Jill treat each other in the same way, without respect for their individual differences and the differences in the contexts within which their meanings originate. Jill knows Jack as another person. Jack does not know Jack as another person. Jill's context is different than Jack's context. Reciprocal relationships do not necessarily respect such differences in context. If Jack and Jill each approach the other and do the same thing toward the other---each is likely to respond to the act differently, for they are different people. Suppose each does "A" on some occasion. They can not both do "A" within the identical context. Suppose Jack does "A" first: Jack[A]. Suppose Jill's response is "B": Jack[A] - Jill[B]. Suppose that then Jack does "C": Jack[A] - Jill[B] - Jack[C]. Suppose on another occasion, later, Jill does "A". Because Jack is not Jill and because the context is different Jack is not likely to respond just as Jill did. Suppose Jack does "B". Similarly suppose Jill responds "C". Then the sequence is Jill[A] - Jack[B] - Jill[C]. Such a reciprocal sequence would not respect differences in Jack and Jill, or in their different contexts. Mutual relationships show respect for individual differences and unique contexts. Mutual relationships are not governed by formal rules which specify roles. Mutual relationships are characterized by mutual awareness of and responsiveness to each other with respect for both participants and their unique desires, perceptions, intuitions, sensations, feelings, etc. Mutual relationships are not governed by formal realities which are external to the relationships; e.g., a rule that they be symmetric in a reciprocal way, no matter how golden the rule may be. Mutuality goes far beyond reciprocity, as love goes beyond law. (c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in www.essayz.com Search for Integrity and Honesty (On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy) ==========================================================
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This-essay is a7902133.htm which is available at the web-site www.essayz.com. These 5 lines echo top lines. Previous-Essay <== This-Essay ==> Following-Essay By-Months By-Years By-Words Webs of Like-&-Un-Like ESSAYS <==> Like-&-UN-Like This-One