This-essay is a7709132.htm which is available at the web-site www.essayz.com. See more notes at the bottom. Previous-Essay <== This-Essay ==> Following-Essay By-Months By-Years By-Words Webs of Like-&-Un-Like ESSAYS <==> Like-&-UN-Like This-One ========================================================== %LISTENING 770913 Listening is less common than talking. Much talking takes place in the absence of listening. Dialogue involves both talking and listening. We must be silent and attentive to listen. We must not be actively planning what we will say when we can get a word in edgewise---such silent self-recitation makes it difficult to genuinely listen. To really listen we must really want to know the concerns, feelings, thoughts, ideas, images, visions etc. of the other person. If we are self centered we are not likely to want to know the other person so intimately. Active listening involves verification that we have heard and understood correctly. The listeners must give indications of having internalized what was said, and the speakers must then confirm or dis-confirm those indications. This confirmation process may be explicit and verbal, including the question, "Did I state your point accurately?" The confirmation process may be almost completely non-verbal; involving primarily eye contact, facial expressions, body positions, and body motions. Listening is not complete in the absence of some form of a verification process. Listening involves perception of more than can be communicated in words. The active listener is aware of non-verbal messages which parallel verbal messages. A dialogue has integrity when the parallel messages are congruent with each other. A conversation lacks integrity if the parallel messages are discordant. In the event they are discordant---the rational/intellectual self is likely to attend to the verbal messages, while the intuitive/affective self is likely to attend to the non- verbal messages. The discordant conversation may thus generate conflict within the listener, if the listener is unable to integrate all messages---due to an internal dichotomous self which does not communicate internally between the parts of the self. Such internal conflict may undermine the motivation to listen. Then there is no way to resolve the conflict generated by listening. (c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in www.essayz.com Search for Integrity and Honesty (On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy) ==========================================================Lines beginning with a percent sign are KEYWORDS for use in ESSAY-System Searches. Their terminal digits are dates of writing in the format @yymmdd#, where @ = a means 99, @ = b means 20, and # = is a within-date essay-count. Links to date-adjacent essays are near page top & bottom.
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