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This-essay is a7612032.htm which is available at the web-site www.essayz.com. See more notes at the bottom. Previous-Essay <== This-Essay ==> Following-Essay By-Months By-Years By-Words Webs of Like-&-Un-Like ESSAYS <==> Like-&-UN-Like This-One ========================================================== %EXTRAMARITAL FRIENDSHIPS 761203 Extramarital friendships maybe homosexual or heterosexual relationships. The degree of sexual intimacy involved is related to the degree of intimacy in the friendship. A decision to totally exclude sexual intimacy from the friendship inevitably blocks the fulfillment of potential aspects of the friendship which involve various degrees of sexuality. A decision to avoid self- revelations about sexual desires, and thus honesty about such desires, is likely to inhibit honesty about other aspects of self. Thus a fear of extramarital sexual relationships is likely to inhibit extramarital friendships and so imprison those suffering such fear. That imprisonment is likely to lead to resentment and sexual frustrations which will in turn lead to sexual violence. Ways need to be found to avoid such a turn of events. This will be impossible so long as the fear of extramarital friendships is regarded by most as a useful means to promoting responsible and healthy behavior. When fear is regarded as useful for any purpose, the purpose should be questioned, as well as the method of seeking to fulfill that purpose. Fear inhibits communication. Maintaining open channels of communication should take precedence over all other values, for God is Love. Love casts out fear, and opens channels of communication, thus reducing sin. Extramarital friendships may enrich marriages, provided that they do not take excessive amounts of time, energy, money, attention, etc. The danger is that the extramarital friendship may require the expenditure of scarce resources needed to build the marriage. Maintaining the balance between totally excluding extramarital friendships, and tolerating one excludes a spouse is possible only under the guidance of true love all the way around. This will inevitably involve ambiguity and suffering. Such is the nature of real living. To avoid such ambiguity and suffering completely, one must die a spiritual and/or a physical death. What is needed is wisdom in coping; via role-models who are the incarnation of such wisdom. Such wisdom is not transmitted via the printed page as effectively as via role-models who are open to those about them. Hidden role-models are not helpful role-models. The openness required for such role-models to be helpful is an openness which will come to a sexually repressed society only slowly. To minimize sexual violence, it must come. (c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in www.essayz.com Search for Integrity and Honesty (On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy) ==========================================================
Lines beginning with a percent sign are  KEYWORDS  for use
in ESSAY-System Searches.  Their terminal digits are dates
of writing in the format @yymmdd#, where @ =  a  means 99,
@ =  b  means 20, and # = is a within-date essay-count.

Links to date-adjacent essays are near  page top & bottom.

Find the following links by clicking on CENTER when CENTER near the top or bottom of a web page of essayz.com 1. Go to HOME PAGE of essayz.com 2. Find brief-essays via keywords 3. Find brief-essay about ADDICTION 4. Search-Helps related to ABOVE-LINK 5. GoTo Action & Information Center 6. Find Regular-Essays via Year/Month 7. Find Regular-Essays via Word-Starts 8. Find Regular-Essay about LOVE

This-essay is a7612032.htm which is available at the web-site www.essayz.com. These 5 lines echo top lines. Previous-Essay <== This-Essay ==> Following-Essay By-Months By-Years By-Words Webs of Like-&-Un-Like ESSAYS <==> Like-&-UN-Like This-One