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  %UNRESOLVED CONFLICT SEXUAL IDEALS VALUES DESIRES 960829

     In many cultures,  communities and individuals  there
are  overt  conflicts  which  are  rooted  in   unresolved
internalized  conflicts  between sexual  ideals,   values,
desires,   myths,   images,   etc.---which may  be  either
articulated  overtly;   or implicit,  tacit,  covert,   or
collusive.   The conflicts exist between what are regarded
by many as good ideals,  good values,  good desires,  good
myths,  good images, good etc.   Those who are in conflict
virtually never defend what they consciously regard as bad
or evil.  Conflicts are between alternative conceptions of
what is good.

     In cultures,  communities and individuals  which  are
preoccupied  with  objects,   objective  realities,    and
objective  relationships  (to  the exclusion of  open  and
honest  reflexivity)  it is nearly impossible  to  resolve
overt   conflicts   which   are   rooted   in   unresolved
internalized  conflicts  between sexual  ideals,   values,
desires,  myths, images,  etc.---because of the absence of
open and honest reflexivity.   In the absence of reflexive
science,   reflexive knowledge, people cannot reflect upon
the   conflicts  between  their  sexual  ideals,   values,
desires, myths, images, etc.---for THEY ARE REFLEXIVE.  To
pretend  otherwise is dishonest.   Such pretense may be  a
central  part  of a set of collusive games of mutual  self
deception---which  block any possibility of resolving  the
underlying conflicts.

     In  her  book,  "Women,  Sex  and  Addiction"   Kasal
explores  the many ways in which human  sexuality  in  its
many   forms  plays  central  roles  in  the   fabric   of
dysfunctionality pertaining to many  forms  of  addiction,
codependence,   sexuality,  and collusive games of  mutual
self  deception.   We need to consider the roots  of  such
dysfunctionality in our conflicting "good"  sexual ideals,
values, desires, myths, images, etc.

                         (c) 1997 by Paul A. Smith in
                      "Search for Integrity and Honesty"
                    (On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy)

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