To graciously help other people to mitigate their own alienative: conflicts, behaviors, life-
styles, etc. --- we need to take many of the following steps in mutually supportive ways of

1. Admit to ourselves and to the others --- that we cannot resolve, settle, arbitrate or mitigate FOR-THEM their: conflicts, grudges, resentments, desires-for-revenge, desires-to-even-the-score, etc. We may be able to play supportive roles in their-own-efforts to graciously mitigate-their-own- conflicts, grudges, resentments, desires-for-revenge, desires-to-even-the-score, etc., but only if they of their own free-will-and-initiative ask-us-to-do-so in-mutually-agreed-upon-ways that are cooperative and sustainable on the part of those who participate and are affected thereby.

We need to engage in a freely and mutually-agreed-upon cooperative-game-plan.

2. We need to have a significant number of the following elements included within the mutually- agreed-upon-cooperative-game-plan:

a. An on-going-effort to bring-out-into-the-open, for Open-and-Honest examination-and- dialogue; participants' various: assumptions, attitudes, approaches, beliefs, perspectives, points-of-view, convictions, habits, traditions, etc. We need to agree that Conflict-Mitigation-will-be-undermined to the extent that we keep such realities: secret, hidden, tacit, unspoken, forgotten, repressed, suppressed, etc.

b. We need to describe, agree-upon and Let-Go-Of the central elements of the life-styles of Domineering-Bullies and Mobbing-Mobsters --- including such realities as:

Concentrations of alienative-amounts of wealth. Concentrations of alienative-amounts of power. Concentrations of alienative-amounts of luxuries. Concentrations of alienative-amounts of corruption. We need to avoid using technologies and techniques that are inherently alienative due to: Violence, Coercion, Excommunications, Rejections, Exclusions, Shunnings, etc. We need to avoid: Equating Conformity with Virtue-and-Goodness. Equating Invulnerability with Security-and-Safety. Equating Superiority with Security-and-Safety.

c. We need to Affirm-and-Demonstrate a significant fraction of the following as Mutually- Supportive True-Virtues: Humility, Mutuality, Openness, Balance, Honesty, Accuracy, Authenticity, Patience, Modesty, Reconciliation, Tolerance, Hospitality, Creativity, Generosity, Adaptability, Flexibility, Exploration, Cooperation, Colaboration, Descriptions, Sensitivity, Hope, Empathy, Sympathy, - - - in order to graciously help others to mitigate their own Alienative-Conflicts; in spite of Contrary-Behaviors by Domineering-Bullies and Mobbing-Mobsters. d. We need to keep in mind that for people who tolerate, respect, honor or revere the Life-Styles and Advantages of Domineering-Bullies and Mobbing Mobsters --- it is TRAITOROUS TO: Want to be intimately involved with others, Trust-Strangers or others not in our "Gang", Get-to-Know strangers to whom our friends have not introduced us, Take risks that may not pay well to our "Gang", Stop Playing our Collusive-Games-of-Mutual-Self-Deception --- and so fail to win them, Disagree with our own faithfully Domineering-Bullies and Mobbing-Mobsters, Be-Vulnerable by Being-Meaningfully-Intimate with True-Lovers, Let-Go of our Gang's Addictions and Codependent-Supporters, Let-Go of our Gang's Pretentious Self-Confidence, Let-Go of our Gang's Negativity, Threats and Attacks upon our Enemies and Evil People.

(c) 2009 by Paul A. Smith in Search for Integrity and Honesty (On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy)