The following suggest some essential steps toward becoming able to help people to work on mitigating their own alienative conflicts. 1. Before we can be graciously helpful --- we must learn how to satisfactorily describe the following aspects of an alienative-conflict --- that is in need of mitigation efforts on the part of those who are most being affected by the alienative-conflict: a. The traceable-history of the personal-conflicts and personal alienations that have led to the current conflicts and alienations. b. The most significant conflicts between and among the diverse: people, ideals, values, principles, rights, entitlements, virtues, perspectives, beliefs, ideologies, etc. --- which have played significant roles in the history of the alienative-conflict. c. Entrenched-patterns-of-personal: resentment, distrust, anger, fear, anxiety, friction, desires-for-revenge, embarrassment, guilt, shame, alienation --- which are undermining possibilities for gracious cooperation --- as experienced by current victims-and-participants in the alienative-conflict. d. What different people now-say are the natures of their conflicts and what they now-say would be satisfactory try ways to resolve the conflicts --- from their own personal differing points of view. e. An informed analysis of how the above desired "resolutions-of-the-conflicts" would be likely-to-influence the-course-of-the-conflicts; with what-benefits and what-costs to those thereby affected; both for good-and-for-ill --- from their different-points-of-view. f. An honest-reflexive-analysis of what needs to be done graciously, and-by-whom; to mitigate the alienations among those involved in the past patters of alienative- conflicts. g. People working together to identify the-denials that have been at-the-center of traditional Collusive-Games-of-Mutual-Self-Deception, and working to describe the costs to different persons --- of those entrenched patterns-of-denial. 2. We must work on developing consensuses about fully-adequate coherent-over-all- clusters-of-affirmations of: ideals, values, principles, attitudes, approaches, and systems-analyses which include: objective, subjective, reflexive, quantitative spiritual and other mutually-complementary realms-of-understanding our-human- relationships and our-possible-patterns-of-cooperation. 3. We must be intentional in Letting-Go of Domineering-Alienative-Preoccupations with: a. Concentrations of Wealth-and-Powers, b. Being-In-Control of our personal relationships, c. Prescriptions, Proscriptions, Taboos, Rewards and Punishments, d. Dichotomous-and-Polarizing Thought-Patterns; e. Questions that can/must be responded-to with "YES" or "NO"; f. Demands that can/must be responded-to with "SUBMISSION" or "OPPOSITION"; f. Mutually-Exclusive Isolated-Absolute-Truths; g. ABSOLUTE: Peace, Purity, Unity, Righteousness, Orthodoxy and Loyalty. 4. We must be intentional in Seeking-to-Integrate into our Lives-and-Reflexive- Relationships the following realities: a. Ignored-and-or Excluded-Affirmations of Essential-Foundations of Personal- and-Communal Integrations-and-Integrities. b. Perspectives of Different-People demonstrating Complementary-Different-Kinds- of-Integrities. c. Long-Term-Sustainable-Life-Styles --- that DO-NOT entail the rapid exhaustion of Space-Ship-Earth's Finite-Pure-Resources of Fossil Fuels, Minerals, Air, Soils and Water --- through patterns of exponential-growth-and-decay --- of our Net-Global-Usage rates. d. Honesty about Traditional Efforts to "WIN" at playing superior-games of mutual-self-deception about inconvenient-truths. e. Tolerance toward-different-people who graciously demonstrate: Honesty, Creativity, Authenticity, Imagination, Exploration, Generosity, Hospitality, Prudence and Patience. f. Honesty about the relative-sizes-of: Space-Ship-Earth, Our-Sun, Inter- Planetary-Distances, Stars-of-all-Sizes, Interstellar-Distances, Galaxies, Galactic-Clusters, Inter-Galactic-Distances and the Cosmos-as-a-Whole getting even bigger. g. Honesty about the full-range of Measurable-Space-Time-Intervals that are characteristic of processes from the realms-of-nuclear-interactions to the realms-of-cosmic-expansion. h. Honesty about the full-range of-apprehendable-complexity within the cosmos of objective, reflexive and subjective realities which we can experience in diverse ways. (c) 2009 by Paul A. Smith in Search for Integrity and Honesty (On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy)