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%LEVEL INTIMACY PERSONAL RELATIONSHIP DISCERN KIND 050304 %KNOW COMPLEMENTARY PARTIAL TRUTHS DEFENSE OFFENSE 050304 %UNILATERAL COOPERATE COURTSHIP EXCLUSIVE INCLUSIVE 050304 %RESENT ANGER SUSPICION SECRECY PRETEND THREAT EVIL 050304 %ATTACK CONTEST WIN LOSE PHYSICAL VIOLENCE OBJECTED 050304 %COMMAND DEMAND DISTRIBUTIVE JUSTICE CONSTRAINT GOD 050304 The level of intimacy in a personal relationship may be discerned by discerning what kinds of defenses and/or manners of offense have been let-go; unilaterally, cooperatively, in court-ship, etc. 1. There is no true-intimacy when a relationships is characterized by mutual: resentment, anger, suspicion, secrecy, pretentiousness, threats, attacks, physical-violence, psychological-violence, commands, distributive-injustice, constraints, prohibitions, demands, prescriptions, impo- sitions, etc. 2. True-intimacy begins-to-become-possible only to the extent that some people begin to consider how un-satisfactory/intolerable their past domineering-relations have been; and some people start to try to envision/dream-of alternative ways of relating to each other in ways which entail some moderate/cautious kinds of: cooperation, collaboration, dialogue, mutuality, courtship, sharing, openness, dialogue, being-together, honesty, listening, kindness, hospitality, trust, balance, mutuality, etc. 3. True-intimacy continues-to-evolve only so-long-as participants strive-together to increase their own and each other's levels of balance and mutuality in regards to: cooperation, collaboration, dialogue, mutuality, courtship, sharing, openness, dialogue, being-together, honesty, listening, kindness, hospitality, trust, balance, mutuality, etc. 4. The evolution of true-intimacy is set-back by thoughts, desires, decisions and actions which entail: arrogance, egotism, narcissism, greed, hubris, self-righteousness, unilateralisms, exclusive-absolutes, prejudicial-judgments, incoherent-bias, excommunication, total-independence, isolations, rejections, exclusions, domination, technocracies, military-industrial-complexes, etc. 5. The evolution of true-intimacy is threatened by ignorance-of and/or dishonesty-about: risks, risk- management, distributive-injustice, imbalances, power- concentrations, wealth-concentrations, energy- concentrations, explosives, bombs, guns, explosive- situations, instabilities, manipulative-technologies, natural-consequences, personally-contrived-consequences, possibilities, impossibilities, systems-analysis, natural- laws, honest-descriptions, etc. (c) 2004 by Paul A. Smith in "Search for Honesty and Integrity" (On Being Yourself Whole and Healthy) ==========================================================