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%PRIVACY RIGHT RESPONSIBILITIES RESPONSIVE DIALOGUE 040620 %OPEN MARRIAGE FRIENDSHIPS OPEN HONESTY SECRECY SEX 040620 %HOPES ASPIRATIONS DESIRES WISHES FEARS ANXIETIES 040620 %GUIDELINES ADVICE SUGGESTIONS BOUNDARIES PARADIGMS 040620 %SCRIPTS DRAMAS SCRIPTURES PARABLES COSMOLOGIES GOD 040620 %ABSENCES MISSING YEARNING IMPOSSIBLE INTEGRITIES 040620 Our most healthy intimate and healthy relationships evolve naturally through the cooperative efforts of the primary participants --- in the gracious-absence of: 1. Intrusions by domineering outsiders and gossips. 2. Preoccupations with such possible-intrusions. 3. Focusing upon formal-rules for any reasons. 4. Attempts to articulate formal-rules to follow. 5. Clearly defined-goals and procedural-plans. 6. Plans to be ready to justify-the-relationships. 7. Concerns on the part of outsiders about rules. 8. Permissions, approvals, pro-scriptions, laws. 9. Prescriptions, formalities, conformity, devils. 10. Mandatory rituals, precautions and scripts. 11. Attempts to be defensively in-vulnerable. 12. Fears that sanctuaries will be violated by some. 13. Preoccupations with "The-Domination-System". 14. Preoccupations with domineering-individuals. 15. Preoccupations with technocratic "solutions." The above kinds of gracious-absences are usually the sweat fruits of many gracious-people's long-term-efforts to be supportive of the essential foundations for both personal and communal integrities and integrations. Shalom (c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in (On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy) ==========================================================