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This is Previous-Essay <== This-Essay ==> Following-Essay Click HERE on this line to find essays via Your-Key-Words. {Most frequent wordstarts of each essay will be put here.} ========================================================== %PRESENCES ABSENCES MISSING LACKING GONE FORGOTTEN+030320 %CONFUSE CONFLATE CAUSES EFFECTS DISTRESS ELIMINATE+030320 %TRAGIC BEHAVIOR ACKNOWLEDGE PARADIGM ENTAIL DEVILS+030320 %GOODNESS SELF RIGHTEOUSNESS ARROGANCE ALIENATION+030320 %SINNERS LOVERS GODS DISTRESS PUNISH COERCE VIOLENT+030320 %SEX EXCLUSIVE REJECT BANISH ALIENATE ESTRANGE FALL 030320 Humans often confuse/conflate causes of distress --- and try to eliminate their own distress in ways which they do not acknowledge as contributing to the causes their distress; e.g., distress caused by undermining healthy and honest efforts to mitigate all forms of human: arrogance, self-righteousness, and domination. Such tragic behaviors are especially common when humans seek to eliminate their distress through the use of strategies which entail any one, or some combinations, of the following elements in human relationships: 1. Punishments, 4. Exclusivity, 7. Excommunications, 2. Coercion, 5. Rejections, 8. Alienations, 3. Violence, 6. Banishments, 9. Estrangements, 10. Dishonesty. In the presence of the above elements, the following essential elements of healthy relationships are subverted: 1. Education, 4. Dialogue, 7. Cooperation, 2. Learning, 5. Balance, 8. Civility, 3. Creativity, 6. Mutuality, 9. Reverence, 10. Honesty. When the above elements of healthy relationships are subverted --- it is rare that people deal wisely and prudently with the tragic costs of human distress pointed to by the following: 1. Adolescents' ignorance about healthy-sexuality. 2. Premature/ignorant sexual-experimentation. 3. Sexually-transmitted diseases; e.g., AIDS 4. Premature-pregnancies started by adolescents. 5. Occasions of sexual-abuse of all kinds. 6. Addictions/codependencies passed on to children. 7. Collusive games of mutual self deception. 8. The costs of coercion, violence and wars. 9. The costs of mental dis-ease and diseases. 10. The costs of maintaining inhumane prisons. 11. The costs of prostituted sexual relationships. 12. The costs of enslaving children as prostitutes. 13. The costs of abusing-sexuality in advertising. 14. The costs of the military-industrial complexes. 15. The costs of militarization-of-poor-countries. 16. The costs of conflicts between religious groups. 17. The costs of arrogance and self-righteousness. 18. The costs of inadequate educational systems. 19. The costs of keeping females ignorant and poor. 20. The costs of repressed human creativity. It is tragically dysfunctional to tolerate, respect and support alienated powerful leaders who perpetuate the kinds of behavior patterns which led to their own alienation and dysfunctionality. Such alienated leaders are blind to (and/or fail to acknowledge) the cause- and-effect relations between the above items. Such leaders ignore how some of the most notable presences and absences (related to the above listed elements) are contributing to many peoples' distress. Domineering leaders often justify their behaviors as designed to achieve good purposes; as if it is enough to have ostensibly "good" purposes --- regardless of the consequences of the tacit assumptions, intentions and motivations which guide their tragic selection of alienative-means for achieving such purposes. The above items hints as some tragic consequences which are caused by presences and absences that are all too often ignored and/or not acknowledged. All truly helpful leaders clearly demonstrate: reverence, civility, honesty, and other aspects of personal integrity. Truly helpful leaders serve people who are more vulnerable than they themselves are. TRULY HELPFUL leaders demonstrate that they are clearly committed to distinguishing between consequences which flow from immutable patterns of cause-and-effect (as described by the scientifically verified laws-of-nature) IN CONTRAST TO consequences which flow from human decisions which are: arbitrary, capricious and/or prejudicial (usually with dishonesty, collusions and/or addictions/codependency playing central roles). When leaders are not regularly demonstrating clear signs of honesty, integrity and coherence --- doubt and suspicion about their leadership is both prudent and wise. (c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in (On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy) ==========================================================