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This is Previous-Essay <== This-Essay ==> Following-Essay Click HERE on this line to find essays via Your-Key-Words. {Most frequent wordstarts of each essay will be put here.} ========================================================== %TECHNICAL OBJECTIVE REFLEXIVE RELATIONS SUCCESS+980802 %PLAN SYSTEM PROCEDURE OUTCOME MEANS ENDS SATISFY+980802 %MEANING SIGNIFICANCE INTIMATE SEXUAL BOND PRISON 980802 The technician who is accustomed to planning a technical project/procedure and carrying it successfully to completion according to plan through careful attention to details and faithfulness to good plans and technique --- is likely to find it frustrating to expect similar successful outcomes in personal relationships. The technician may not recognize the fundamental ways in which personal relationships are unlike technical projects and procedures --- where plans, techniques, details, and control are essential. With regards to personal relationships no one person can successfully project the outcome of technical procedures carried to completion in trying to control the relationships. Personal relationships often cannot be completed according to any plan. Exclusive attention to technical details may undermine the integrity of the relationships. Preoccupation with plans and techniques is likely to undermine the integrity of relationships. Preoccupation with issues of control is bound to imprison the person preoccupied --- and perhaps will imprison others as well. In personal relationships even if the relationship develops according to somebody's plan --- it is unlikely that such a success will yield to satisfaction which was sought and/or anticipated. Personal relationships are reflexive; rather than objective. The outcomes of reflexive processes are not purely objective, and cannot be fully controlled like objective processes can be fully controlled. People who assume, think, or believe otherwise are likely to experience tragic outcomes of their misguided efforts. (c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in (On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy) ==========================================================