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This is http://www.essayz.com/a9609021.htm Previous-Essay <== This-Essay ==> Following-Essay Click HERE on this line to find essays via Your-Key-Words. {Most frequent wordstarts of each essay will be put here.} ========================================================== %COMMUNAL BOND MARRIAGE OWNERSHIP INDIVIDUALIST 960902 In healthy communities there is a mutual bond between integrative members of the community and the community as an integrative whole. In a sense they own each other; but it is not the kind of ownership which is preoccupied with issues of control, exclusion, manipulation, etc. Healthy members of a healthy community and the healthy community as a whole are interdependent in balanced ways which promote continued respect and health. In a healthy marriage two people are bonded in a continuing relationship of mutual respect, balance, growth and inter-dependence. Neither one owns the other in the sense of ownership which is preoccupied with issues of control, exclusion, manipulation, etc. Yet, neither one is indifferent to the other's well being. Each is concerned to help promote the other's integrity; yet, neither one is in charge of the other's integrity. Each desires to be in the other's presence; yet, not only in the other's presence. Each desires to be together with the other in mutually satisfying cooperative ventures; yet, to be free to be with other friends who are complementary to them. As in healthy marriages---there are healthy bonds between integrative members of healthy communities and each one's healthy community. Each member cares for the integrity of the whole community. Each healthy community cares for the integrity of each of its members. Each desires to be together with the other in mutually satisfying cooperative ventures; yet, to be free to be with others who are complementary to their own communal relationship. Separation is not desired---and is not unilateral with indifference even if there comes a separation. Separation is not excommunication as part of some punishment designed to achieve control. Separation is regretted if it comes. In a healthy community members of the community are healthy in part because they know that they are loved by the community and they know that their integrity is promoted by the community. In turn each healthy member of the community promotes the integrity of the community as a whole---for they are profoundly interdependent. Each person is secure in the knowledge that their community loves them in integrative ways; not in manipulative ways. Many individuals have experienced only unhealthy communities---which have sought to control them as personal possessions of the community. Such individuals cannot conceive what it would be like to be cherished as an integrative healthy member of an integrative healthy community; so they seek to avoid communal entanglements. They are proud of how independent they are in their freedom of isolation. They do not want to give up their independence and cannot conceive healthy inter-dependence. (c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in (On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy) ==========================================================