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This is http://www.essayz.com/a9606191.htm Previous-Essay <== This-Essay ==> Following-Essay Click HERE on this line to find essays via Your-Key-Words. {Most frequent wordstarts of each essay will be put here.} ========================================================== %LITIGIOUS LEGALISTIC RISK TRUST CONTROL PAY+960619 %INTIMATE PERSONAL RELATIONSHIP BLAME FAULT 960619 People who are preoccupied with issues of control often operate on the principle that when some misfortune befalls them: 1. Blame must be assigned to someone. 2. The person responsible must pay. 3. Steps must be taken to insure against a repeat. Such people cannot with equanimity accept taking any risks themselves through accepting misfortunes which befall them due to the random course of events which are beyond being under full human control. For them all tragedies and misfortunes have to do with inadequate control; and so their response to tragedies and misfortune have to do with: 1. Who did not exercise proper control. 2. Just compensation for failure to be in control. 3. Steps to be in control and prevent any repeat. For such people trust has to do with who is reliably in control; who can be relied upon to prevent tragedies and misfortunes. For them risks have to do with assessing risks in order to be in control and so to assure that there will be no adverse consequences to them in taking risks. They want an iron-clad insurance policy which protects them against all risks. For such people it is unthinkable to enter into intimate personal relationships within which the participants are not fully in control and do not want to be fully in control of: the relationships, of themselves, or of each other. Such people find it unacceptable to take the risks of being involved in truly meaningful personal relationships which are characterized by the risks of being open and honest with each other; and so vulnerable and apparently insecure. They cannot conceive of the possibility that true security is the freedom to be safely vulnerable, taking risks without a guarantee that nothing will "go wrong." (c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in (On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy) ==========================================================