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This is http://www.essayz.com/a9604184.htm Previous-Essay <== This-Essay ==> Following-Essay Click HERE on this line to find essays via Your-Key-Words. {Most frequent wordstarts of each essay will be put here.} ========================================================== %TRADITIONAL MISTAKES PATTERNS ASSUMPTIONS BELIEFS+960418 %ATTITUDES IDEALS VALUES BEHAVIOR DISINTEGRATIVE+960418 %VIOLENCE ALIENATION ESTRANGEMENT ISOLATION EVIL 960418 People who persistently experience disintegrative consequences need to ask themselves what it is that leads to those consequences? It does little good to blame all consequences upon other people and/or circumstances beyond other people's control. It is more productive for people to ask what they might change which would be likely to lead to more integrative consequences. To be a fruitful focus for their attention the focus must be something: 1. Which they can change---in spite of other people's opposition. 2. For which there are cogent reasons for believing that it will lead to integration---rather than to disintegration. 3. Which entails some real change---not just an appearance or superficial change. 4. Which entails honesty and demands courage---not dishonesty and fear. 5. Which will likely lead to forgiveness, reconciliation, conflict resolution, and cooperation---not to anger, frustration, revenge, conflict escalation, and exclusivity. 6. Which will help people to transcend boundaries through dialogue---not lead people to draw boundaries which inhibit and confuse dialogue. 7. Increase the number of viable alternatives to choose among---not reduce the number of viable alternatives to choose among. 8. Clarifies the natures of elements, situations and relationships through accurate descriptions---rather than confuses them. 9. Reveals new truths in public forums---rather than discourages the discussion of embarrassing truths in public forms. 10. Helps people to transcend misleading questions, assumptions and commitments---rather than engenders renewed commitments to focusing attention upon misleading questions, assumptions and commitments. (c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in (On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy) ==========================================================