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This is Previous-Essay <== This-Essay ==> Following-Essay Click HERE on this line to find essays via Your-Key-Words. {Most frequent wordstarts of each essay will be put here.} ========================================================== %DYSFUNCTIONAL RELATIONSHIP APPEARANCE TRUE LOVE 951205 People who are together in a dysfunctional relationship are often confused and think that they are in love. In dysfunctional relationships confusion, deception, dishonesty, coercion; and preoccupations with appearances, perfection and control are common. Excitement may be high, or on a roller coaster. Similarly, for conviction and self esteem. People "in love" in dysfunctional ways are often preoccupied with what they think needs to be fixed and with the perceived means by which to fix what they think needs to be fixed. Dysfunctional people are often drawn together in dysfunctional relationships of addiction and codependence through their efforts to gain personal advantage in the absence of real love---and feel and think that the stimulation and excitement of their joint struggles with each other are signs of true love. Yet, they do not know each other openly and honestly, or know how to recognize true love or its absence---for they are not familiar with true love; and are too close to their collusive games of mutual self-deception to recognize them from the inside. See the essay following. (c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in (On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy) ==========================================================