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This is Previous-Essay <== This-Essay ==> Following-Essay Click HERE on this line to find essays via Your-Key-Words. {Most frequent wordstarts of each essay will be put here.} ========================================================== %UNHEALTHY FALLING LOVE EXCITE ENJOY LETTING GO 950611 Both healthy falling in love and unhealthy falling in love generate excitement and so generate the temptation to "do it again" in an unhealthy way to "get more excitement". Overcoming alienation, ignorance, misunderstanding and fears of intimacy are fulfilling in healthy ways; engendering excitement. Such excitement tempts many people to seek to generate such excitement through attempts to manipulate and to control people and relationships. Such attempts usually entail implicit deception and denials of truths, if not explicit denials and overt dishonesty. While trying to generate the excitement of "falling in love" in manipulative ways---addictive people seek to escape true intimacy and all its implications of openness, honesty, and security known as the freedom to be vulnerable. It is important for people of all ages to know how to recognize the differences between truly falling in love, and trying to generate the excitement of "falling in love" in manipulative ways. The differences have to do with: honesty, openness, vulnerability, mutuality, letting go, detachment, gentleness; and with preoccupations with control, manipulations, discipline, rules, regulations, attachment, coercion and violence. (c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in (On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy) ==========================================================