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This is Previous-Essay <== This-Essay ==> Following-Essay Click HERE on this line to find essays via Your-Key-Words. {Most frequent wordstarts of each essay will be put here.} ========================================================== %ADDICT CODEPENDENT COLLUDER CONVENTIONAL DILEMMA 950509 Addicts, their codependent supporters and colluders all have confessional dilemmas: "To whom should they make confessions when they fail to be faithful?" Such people are confused about what it means to be faithful, and so they are confused about to whom to make confession when they fail to be faithful. One cannot be faithful if one is not true to what one believes to be true, right, righteous, integrative, wholesome, coherent, healthy, etc. Addicts, their codependent supporters and colluders are playing games of mutual self deception---wherein truths are treated as lies, and lies are treated as truths; and it is never entirely clear what is really true, and what is really not true. Confusion is the order of the day. Concealment of and deception regarding the rules of the games of mutual self deception---are required under the rules of the games---so confusion is the order of the day. To whom should an addict, codependent supporter or colluder confess when they: 1. Fail to believe a lie which really is a lie? 2. Fail to deny a truth which really is a truth? 3. Believe a lie which they suspect is a lie? 4. Believe a truth which they suspect is true? 5. Recognize the rules of their collusive games? 6. Articulate the rules of their collusive games? 7. Repress truths which they suspect are true? 8. Confuse differences between truths and lies? 9. Fear the lies which they have believed? 10. Fear the truths which they have not believed? 11. Begin to recognize how confused they have been? 12. Begin to be unhappy with bitter fruits they eat? 13. Find they cannot trust the people they admire? 14. Find they trust the people who are confused? 15. Discover they are terrified by honesty? 16. Discover they are terrified by true intimacy? 17. Recognize disintegrative excommunication's evil? 18. Recognize their own alienation from each other? 19. Realize that they cannot control each other? 20. Yearn for personal and communal integrity? (c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in (On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy) ==========================================================