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This is Previous-Essay <== This-Essay ==> Following-Essay Click HERE on this line to find essays via Your-Key-Words. {Most frequent wordstarts of each essay will be put here.} ========================================================== %INFORMAL EXCOMMUNICATION TACIT COVERT ROLE VICTIM 950124 What are the formal/informal; tacit/overt; intentional/un-intentional roles which are played by the perpetuator/victims of excommunication? An excommunicated person is cut off from open and honest dialogue with other persons. Open and honest dialogue has broken down and been replaced by attitudes and habits of suspicion, distrust and defensiveness. It is sometimes assumed or thought that when excommunication occurs there are powerful people who initiate the excommunication with advantage, and that there are less powerful people who are the victims of the excommunication; the victims being cast out of positions of favor as a punishment for not conforming properly to the expectations of the powerful people. The truth is more complicated and tragic. In each excommunication the participants are usually both perpetuators and victims of the excommunication. Excommunication is not a win/lose game; it is a lose/lose game. The advantages that appear to accrue to some people are apparent only by virtue of collusive games of mutual self deception. In reality there is a net loss to each participant/victim when due regard is given to the personal and communal disintegration which flows from the excommunication. Excommunications flow from misleading ideals and values which are invisibly disintegrative in spite of the fact that they have often been highly respected and defended. Participants in excommunication are often willing to sacrifice personal and communal integrity upon the idolatrous alters of falsely "good" appearances however they may be defined. When honesty is sacrificed for "good" appearances, people are tragically mislead by disintegrative ideals and values. They are asking technological questions pertaining to mutual coercive manipulations---when they need to be seeking reconciliation through honest humility and forgiveness in balanced reflexive relationships. (c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in (On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy) ==========================================================